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It can be tough to reconnect with your officer after a fight – but these 3 ideas for what to say after a fight can quickly restore your connection.

There’s no two ways about it, it sucks to fight with your husband.

Especially when he’s an officer, especially just before he goes off shift – or just after he comes home.

You know what, no “especially” – it’s all a bummer.

Sometimes it’s necessary.  Sometimes it’s completely worth the struggle.  But in any case, it’s a major buzzkill all around.

The worst part, to me, is when you’re trying to get back to “normal” – that period where you’re kind of on eggshells around each other because you’re both feeling a little hurt and angry.  Regardless of whether you’re “right” or “wrong”.

You’ve both been rubbed the wrong way, and you’re both trying to get over it with your sense of dignity intact.

That process, right there, is a bummer in and of itself.  Which begs the question, how can you move through that phase and on to the making up phase ASAP?

I have to say, there are three specific things you can say after a fight that will help you get back to peacefulness more quickly than anything else.

What To Say After A Fight To Restore Peace In Your Home

“I’m sorry.”

A genuine apology can go a long way to mending the gap between you and your husband.

I’m not saying you have to apologize for the whole argument – no!  I’m guessing you’re fighting for something you care about, and so is he.  You don’t have to apologize for that.

But you can absolutely apologize for something you said more harshly than you should have.  Maybe with a step back, you’ve realized you overreacted a little.  Maybe you’re just sorry you had to get into an argument, because you don’t like getting upset with each other.

Whatever it is, sometimes humbling yourself, sucking it up, and being the first to apologize after an argument is the most powerful thing you can do.  It means more peace for everyone, with the fringe benefit that it sometimes greases the wheels to get you your own much-needed apology.

Not that that’s the reason you should do it, but it sure doesn’t hurt.

Related soothing phrase: “I forgive you” 🙂

“I love you no matter what.”

Sometimes when you’re in an argument with your husband, you can both lose sight of the fact that you’re ultimately on the same team.

Even if you’re fighting on different sides of a particular issue, you’re partners.

As such, reminding your husband that you love him despite how vehemently you may disagree with him on a certain subject is a wonderful reminder of that – for both of you.

It’s important for him to hear it, and by saying it, you can remind yourself of that fact, too.

Trust me: stating your unconditional love even in the midst of upset feelings is like balm to the soul.

Side note: This is useful for kids, too – it’s worth reiterating, “I love you even when I’m mad at you” to them, too.

Combine this phrase with a hug, and you’re on your way back to the honeymoon phase. (seriously, don’t underestimate the power of a good hug!)

“What can I do to help?”

Offering to take action to mend fences between yourself and your husband is powerful.

Because really, this makes you vulnerable.  It means you’re being completely transparent about how you’re trying to help him.  You’re admitting that you love him enough to be the first to try to restore peace in your home.

Sometimes, too, this phrase comes in handy when you get the feeling the argument you just had was more about frustrations at work/with kids/whatever than something truly between the two of you.  This question allows you to get to the heart of the issue and take care of things more directly.


Even though fighting with your husband is tough, you’re tough, too.  You can get through this.

Knowing what to say after a fight can go a long way toward helping you to be the peacemaker your officer needs.  And believe me, you’ll both be all the better for it!

Your marriage is worth all the work.  You got this, lady.


It can suck trying to figure out what to say after a fight.  These 3 phrases are great starting points, however.


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