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The traits of the woman in Proverbs 31 are especially important for police wives. What do you need to develop to be a Proverbs 31 Police Wife?

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between the police wives who thrive and those who falter?

Some of it comes down to traits like independence, flexibility, and overall self-confidence.  Those things are definitely useful in helping adapt to the demands of police wife life more easily and making a law enforcement marriage go more smoothly.

But for me, a relationship with God was always (and remains to be) the most important factor in facing all the fear, doubt, and uncertainty of life with grace.  Because He’s the one who prepared you for this life (for everything, including police wife life) in the first place, He can absolutely be your greatest strength.

He knows you.  He loves you.  He cares about what happens to you and those you love.  He can give you answers to your deepest questions and comfort in your greatest trials – and as a police wife, those trials can be huge.

I mean, how fast does your anxiety spike when you hear a story of another officer down?  Your mind immediately goes to all the, “what if’s”.  And it does it faster and more efficiently the closer to home it happens.

So with that being said, how can you build a relationship with God amid all the fear, uncertainty, and even just the overwhelm of this life?

Personally, I’m a big fan of the description of the woman in Proverbs 31.  She seems awesome!  I mean, who wouldn’t want to be best friends with her?  She’s friendly, loving, hard-working, trustworthy, fearless, and full of faith.  To her good friends, she’s probably the biggest cheerleader they have and the person they trust with their deepest, darkest secrets.

While she’s an awesome example to every woman seeking to be a more godly wife, her example is even more important for police wives.  Becoming more like the Proverbs 31 wife can help you navigate police wife life with greater peace and happiness, and much less fear and overwhelm – and isn’t that what we all want?

This post is all about the top 5 traits of the Proverbs 31 woman as they apply to you as a police wife.

The 5 Traits of the Proverbs 31 Police Wife


“A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”  Proverbs 31:10

The Proverbs 31 wife is virtuous, which means she knows what she believes in and sticks to it, no matter what the cost.  She has noble character, which is definitely worth more than rubies.  You can’t buy integrity!

The power that comes from living virtuously is most evident when you look at the opposite.  When you see the people your husband deals with who lie, cheat, and steal and have to deal with the consequences of those decisions, being honest feels a lot safer.  You get to stick with seeing the good side of your husband 🙂

On top of that, being true to what you believe means you can be more of an inspiration to those around you.  You can only be a light for Christ if you actually follow what He asks you to do.  The people your actions influence include your husband and children, who will undoubtedly be blessed by your integrity.

By being virtuous, you don’t have to worry about whether someone is going to catch you doing something wrong, or have to use any of your energy keeping up appearances (or even keeping track of lies.)  Being honest and true to what you believe in means you can sleep more easily at night (even when your hubby is working nights) knowing that you’re right with God.


“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20

Even though she’s incredibly busy, the Proverbs 31 wife takes the time to love the people around her.  She takes the time to see to others’ needs and be the hands and feet of Christ.

It’s not easy to be so kind and loving when people can be so fundamentally un-loving, annoying, and cantankerous.  I get it completely.  Not everyone is easy to love.  Even your husband and kids can be pretty unloveable at times, so when it comes to your enemies?  Yikes.

Luckily, you don’t have to learn to love everyone in a godly way overnight.  God can help you improve day-by-day and step-by-step as you pray for His help and for His eyes to see those around you.

He can also help you remember that it doesn’t take huge efforts to make a difference in the world around you.  Small acts of kindness, like smiling at someone or paying them a compliment, take hardly any effort and can have a huge ripple effect.

Unfortunately, so can unkindness – so choosing one or the other in every situation is super important.

Through your husband’s job, you have an intimate knowledge of the evil in the world.  You see all the awful things people choose to do to each other, usually for no good reason at all.  By choosing to be a kind person, you can bring light back to that world.


“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27

The woman in Proverbs 31 is ridiculously busy.  She takes care of her whole household, including laundry by hand.  Seriously, as much as I moan and groan about laundry, I have it incredibly easy on that front.

But because she’s so busy, she really has to make a point to use her time wisely.  She doesn’t have time to waste on stuff that doesn’t matter.  She has to make every moment work for her.

As a police wife, you can relate to her busy-ness.  You have your own work and personal duties, plus your husband’s, most of your kids’.  You’re a maid, a chauffeur, an accountant, a secretary, a counselor, a mediator… the list is endless.

That means taking after the Proverbs 31 wife and learning to prioritize how you use your time is super important.

The fact is, we all have the same 24 hours each day.  None of us can do it all.  In the end, we just have to decide what’s most important and let the rest go.

It’s not an easy skill to develop, but with practice, making those time trades definitely gets easier! 


“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

The Proverbs 31 wife is humble, which, in a nutshell, means she doesn’t pride herself on any vain possession or trait.  Instead, she realizes that everything she has and everything she is is from God.  As such, she looks to God in all things and is committed to doing as He asks.

Humility is such a dense, complicated topic when it comes down to it.  The biggest part of humility is being teachable – being receptive to what God has to tell you and being willing to do what He asks, even when it doesn’t make much sense or when it seems difficult.  It means trusting that He knows more than you do, and wants what’s best for you.

If you let Him, God can help guide you through police wife life with grace, because He can see the whole picture.  He can see what your husband and kids need from you, and will help you determine how best to respond. 

By giving everything over to Him and not relying on your own judgment, you can make the best decisions possible.

Full of Faith

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25 (NLT)

Faithfulness is the defining characteristic of the Proverbs 31 wife.  She has complete faith in God, such that being kind, virtuous, purposeful, and humble come more easily.  These traits are all kind of a chicken-or-egg type thing.

It’s hard to develop faith, though.  By definition, it’s about believing in the unseen – the things you can’t prove, but that you feel in your heart.  While there’s no physical, scientific evidence you can use to back it up, God can offer up evidence to your soul.

Faith is a lifelong pursuit, but is absolutely worth working toward.

Developing greater faith in God means you can surrender your anxiety to Him – about everything.  It means fewer late nights staying up alone because you’re scared something will happen to your husband, because you can rest assured He will take care of everything.  You can trust that He will take care of both of you, no matter what decisions other people make.

It also means that you can see every trial you go through as an opportunity to grow closer to Him, and not just a thorn in your foot.  That’s powerful.


I loved these traits so much as they apply to police wife life that I actually wrote an entire book delving into each of them more deeply. Check out The Proverbs 31 Police Wife, now available on Amazon!

I love this! If you haven't read The Proverbs 31 Police Wife, DEFINITELY check it out on Amazon. It'll change your whole life as a police wife!!


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