We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post. Read our full disclosure here.

Sexting is kind of a hot topic.  I mean, you read about it all the time, though usually the articles are talking about teens and how they’re getting into trouble because of sexting.

While the implications of grown, married people sexting one another are a world away from those of teenagers doing it, it’s still just not a good idea.

And I suppose I should be clear here: by sexting, I’m talking about sending questionable photos/videos to your significant other.  I’m not talking about flirty/sexy, plain-text texts.  I realize these both technically fit the definition, but one can be a fun way of building anticipation, and the other?  It’s surprisingly dangerous.

Cell phones are not super secure.

 It’s not that hard to hack a cell phone, and once someone has, they can access (and even distribute – see my next point) the photos you intended to only be seen by your husband’s eyes.

Even hackers aside, how mortified would you be if your husband was trying to show a coworker, say, a picture of your kids or a funny meme, and they accidentally swiped (because we all know someone who swipes to see more even when it’s not our intention) and saw a photo you sent him?

Cell phones are just not secure enough to feel safe sending sexts to your husband.


Pictures (and videos) can last a lot longer than you intend them to.

As mentioned, hackers can fairly easily gain access to your phone.  What would happen if those photos you sent your husband were distributed?

Sure, you could probably track them down.  Criminal charges would maybe be filed.

But the fact is, once those photos are out there on the internet, you’re going to be hard-pressed to erase them permanently.  As they say, the internet never forgets.

It’s just not worth risking your reputation or even your job to flirt with your husband through provocative images.

On top of that, if (Heaven forbid) you and your husband were to break up, there is always the chance that he could use those images against you.  Sure, you may “know” right now that he would never do that, but people have been known to become nastier than usual in the face of divorce.  Who really knows?


It’s porn.

Sending Playboy-worthy images is another form of pornography.

Hear me out.

Pictures like this are an extension of our pornified culture.  They’re an extension of the way women are viewed in society: as sexual objects, first and foremost.  If there’s anything that makes me feel less sexy, it’s the feeling that I’m not being treated with respect.. and taking questionable pictures of myself sure doesn’t feel like a way to honor myself and my body.  

Especially as a mom, I feel I understand the sacredness of my body in a way I never have before.  I think about how it created and carried a child, how it nurtured and nursed that same child until he was old enough for “real food”.  I feel a certain reverence toward my body, and it doesn’t feel right to cheapen it by turning it into purely a sexual object.


Should you never send a quick, “hey sexy ;)” to your husband ever again?  No, absolutely not.  Flirt with your husband, by all means.

But you should definitely re-think that post-shower selfie.


Weigh in: Do you think sexting your spouse is a bad idea?

Yup! Absolutely! It's tempting sometimes especially now that he's a police officer because we hardly see each other but it's a big fat NO.


Subscribing via email is the best way to stay connected with Love and Blues! Join hundreds of other police wives who look forward to our weekly tips, tricks, and inspiration to having a happier life and marriage.

When you subscribe, you'll also receive a free copy of 7 Things Happy Police Wives Need To Give Up as our gift to you.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit