There are lots of common police wife problems everyone married to a LEO faces. Here are the best solutions to those problems!
Even though police wife life comes with a lot of problems sometimes, there’s one bright side to those issues: you’re not alone.
The fact is, police wives face many of the same issues as one another. That means there’s a whole host of women who can 100% commiserate with pretty much anything you’re going through. Yay!
As a result, there are lots of resources available for dealing with whatever’s eating at you right now.
How To Cope With The 10 Most Common Police Wife Problems
Loneliness
Being a police wife comes with a lot of alone time. You can’t reliably spend time with your husband, especially if he’s on night shifts and especially if you also work outside the home.
And even when he is around, it’s not uncommon for him to be a little more aloof than you’d prefer, whether it’s just the normal stress or something big that went down when he was at work. Or hey, just sleeping, because he might have worked the last 24 hours straight.
The point is, you just never know what to expect, and it can make for a lonely life if you’re not proactive about things.
- 10 Ways To Rock Night Shifts As A Police Wife: The best way I’ve found to cope with loneliness is to stay busy. This is a list of 10 great ways to make use of your time when your husband’s away.
- How To Feel More Connected and Less Lonely as a Police Wife: Of course, you can’t spend all your time alone! If you’re gonna make it in this life, you also need to make connections with others. This post is all about how to do just that.
- 9 Ways To Sleep Peacefully When You Have to Sleep Alone: Do you have trouble sleeping when your husband is on shift? Whatever the reason, this post contains 9 great solutions that can help.
Fear
Whether it’s fear for your husband’s safety, fear for your own when you have to be home alone at night, or general fear of the unknown, there’s lots of fear to go around in this life. Overcoming that is a matter of changing your mindset, and the posts below can help with that a lot.
- How To Cope With The War On Cops as a Police Wife: The war on cops is incredibly hard to deal with when someone you love is in law enforcement. It hits way too close to home. This post is all about how to keep your head above water in these hard times.
- 4 Good Reasons To Carry A Gun (And One Reason Not To): Being prepared to defend yourself when your husband isn’t around can go a long way toward helping you feel more confident when you have to be alone. It might not be for you, but this post gives you some things to think about when you’re deciding whether to carry a firearm or not.
- 4 Hidden Blessings of the Fear of Police Wife Life: Even though it sucks to feel afraid for your husband (and for yourself, and your family, and so on…), there are a few things good things that can actually come from it!
- Dealing With Fear As A Police Wife: This post is all about keeping the right perspective when the panic of police wife life feels overwhelming.
- What You Need To Remember When The World Hates Your Husband: This is a post all about one of my favorite law enforcement-related scriptures. Actually – one of my favorites over all! But it’s very applicable to the current attitude toward law enforcement.
Jealousy
I think jealousy comes into place most when we’re talking about female partners and so-called “badge bunnies”, but it’s not uncommon to be jealous of the job itself, too. Whatever the case, these posts can help.
- A Letter To My Husband’s Other Wife: Please Be Good To Him: Does it ever feel like your husband has another super-needy, super unpleasant wife? Then you’re probably a police wife 🙂
- Why Your Husband’s Female Partner Is Your Ally – Not Your Enemy: This is a guest post from a former female police officer who can shed some light on how a female police officer views her partner.
- How To Deal With Jealousy Over a Female Partner: This is my own story of dealing with jealousy over a female officer my husband worked with that I hope can help you!
Marital Issues
Okay, admittedly some of the other “top issues” inform this issue, but it’s enough for its own section. The thing is, you spend so much time apart and in different worlds that it’s easy to become disconnected from one another. These resources are all about improving your marital bond.
- How To Have An Amazing Sex Life as a Police Couple: Don’t underestimate the importance of sex in your marriage! It’s more than just physical, and neglecting it can have a huge impact on the quality of your marriage.
- 7 Reasons to Stay Married When You Feel Like Letting Go: Everyone has those moments – really, truly. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you for thinking that way. Nonetheless, here’s 7 reasons to keep your marriage together even if your husband or his job is driving you batty.
- The Top 7 Must-Read Books for Police Wives: These books are all great for helping you understand your husband better. And, of course, he can read them to understand what you go through, too! But they’re all extremely helpful.
- 10 Fun Apps To Help You Connect When You Can’t Be Together: Technology can be a great thing for your marriage when you use it correctly. These are all apps that you can play with your husband without having to organize times together or anything – just play them when you have time individually 🙂
- 24 Open When Letter Ideas for Police Officers: Writing a set of these is a great way to get you feeling warm and fuzzy about your husband. And of course, when he opens them, he gets to feel the same way about you. Regardless of the occasion, Open When letters are a great way to make your bond even better.
- 40 Ways To Be An Awesome Wife: Wondering how to be a better wife for your husband? I mean, maybe you’re thinking, “He should be better for me”, and I get that. But the best place to start making a change in your marriage is with yourself. This list isn’t even all that labor-intensive, but these small things can make a huge impact
Inconsistency
Unfortunately, with your husband’s job, there isn’t really any rhyme or reason to what shifts he works. I mean, he might be scheduled for a particular shift, but he stays late. Or maybe he has a day off, but he gets called in. Or maybe there’s mandatory training at the worst possible time, even though he’s already worked a ton prior to it.
It sucks, but it’s just a fact of police wife life you have to make do with. These posts can help you have a better mindset when your plans have to change.
- 3 Things To Remember When Your Husband Cancels Again: First thing: when your plans get cancelled, it’s easy to take it personally and whine and complain the rest of the night. This post can help reset you into the right frame of mind.
- How To Bounce Back From Ruined Plans as a Police Wife: This is a great post when it comes to preparing yourself for ruined plans in advance. And hey, even though I know it’s not what you want to prepare for, knowing how you’re going to do things in advance is the best way to deal with it.
Solo Parenting
Even though it’s hard when it’s just the two of you, things get a little stickier when kiddos come into play.
- 7 Secrets To Survival When You Feel Like A Married Single Mom: This is a super common feeling among police wives. Even though you’re happily married, doing #allthethings by yourself can definitely make you feel like you’re single anyway. While it’s hard, you can make it work!
- 3 Ways Being Raised In A Police Family Affects Kids – And How To Help: As your kids get older, the effects of your husband’s job starts to impact them more. This post is all about how to help them cope.
- 5 Elements of a Babyproof Law Enforcement Marriage: Are you and your husband expecting – or even just trying? Take a look at this post so you can prepare your marriage for the stresses of new parenthood.
- 4 Things To Know About Being A New Mom And A Police Wife At The Same Time: This post contains my personal story of a ridiculously short (like, basically non-existent) paternity leave and all the things I learned when I became a mom at the same time that I was a police wife.
Holidays Alone
I suppose this kind of goes along with loneliness in general, but I think holidays really heighten that feeling. Some adjustments have to be made to have a happy holiday season, but as with anything else, it’s something you can totally adapt to!
- How To Bring Christmas Cheer To Your Husband’s Department: Staying busy can absolutely help you feel less lonely.
- 5 Ways To Make Your Husband’s Holidays Special Even If He’s On Shift: As hard as it is on you to be alone on the holidays, it can be equally hard on your husband. Not only does he want to be home, but the “jolliness” of the holidays can easily be spoiled by the horrors that never take a vacation. This post is all about making things special for him, even when he can’t celebrate with you on the day of.
- 3 Ways To Have a Merry Christmas Without Your Husband: You can replace “Christmas” with whatever holiday you’re currently facing alone, and this post will still apply.
- How To Have An Awesome Valentine’s Day Apart: Even the lovey-dovey “couple-specific” holidays can be special regardless of whether you can be together or not!
Tight Budgets
Police officers aren’t really known for being well-paid. Whether you work as well or stay at home, the tightness of your budget can really put a strain on your individual stress levels and your marriage. Fortunately, there are lots of solutions out there to release the pressure a little.
- The Best Way To Meal Plan as a Law Enforcement Family: Meal planning is one of the best (and arguably easiest) ways to reduce your grocery budget. This is my super-simple meal planning method.
- 10 Healthy, Homemade Snacks To Keep Your Husband Energized at Work: Having trouble with your husband hitting up fast food drive-throughs a little too often? These snacks are not only healthy, but also super budget-friendly.
- 5 Ways To Make Money From Home And Spend More Time With Your Family: I personally work from home and LOVE it for its flexibility. You might consider checking out these ideas as a starting point if you want to have the flexibility of spending more time with your husband!
- Is The Dollar Shave Club Worth It? Does your husband go through razors like no other? We actually love the Dollar Shave Club – it’s one less thing we have to remember at the store, plus they’re super affordable.
- 5 Ways To Save Money On A Babysitter: I swear, babysitters are usually the most expensive part of date night. Buuut if you get creative, they don’t have to be!
- The Busy Budgeter’s 90 Day Budget Bootcamp: This workbook is like, budgeting for dummies. It’s amazing if you’re trying to get your finances/debt under control and have no idea where to start!
Supporting Your Husband
As a police wife (well, as a wife in general), part of your job is to support him when he’s at home. It’s not always an easy task for someone who tends to be closed-off and stoic, but there are still things you can do to help.
- 3 Ways To Support Your Police Husband When He Doesn’t Want To Talk About It: I know how badly you want to make your husband feel better, and sometimes allowing him to be quiet is the best way to do so (even if it drives you a little crazy.) This post is for those times when your husband just isn’t ready to discuss his day with you.
- 13 Inspiring Scriptures for Police Officers: These are great scriptures to encourage your police husband, whether you use them in the form of the pretty printables (available on that page), or highlight them in his Bible.
- PTSD In First Responders: The First 4 Steps To Take: This is a guest post all about how to begin to tackle the issue of PTSD in your police officer husband – which is an unfortunately common occurrence.
Overwhelm
With all the above issues, it’s easy to get super overwhelmed. These posts are all about taking the pressure off yourself and improving your own mental state.
- How To Be More Grateful As A Police Wife: Gratitude is an extremely powerful weapon against stress and overwhelm. Even though it can sometimes be hard to find stuff to be grateful for, this post can help!
- 10 Creative Bullet Journal Layouts for Police Wives: I know I’m less overwhelmed when I get more organized. Bullet journaling is just one great way to sort yourself out. Plus it’s fun, creative, and pretty 🙂
- 18 Ways To Care For Yourself Without Spending a Fortune: Need a little pampering time? Here are 18 ideas to treat yourself that won’t blow your (previously mentioned) tight budget.
Seriously, no matter what police wife problems you’re facing right now, I hope this helps!
Hi, do you have any advice for working opposite shifts and how to make time together? I love your blog!