Police wife life is tough, there’s no doubt about that. But I also have no doubt that you can be happily married as a police wife, no matter how much you doubt yourself – just remember these things!
I’m not sure what brought you to this page. Maybe you’re currently married to a police officer and seriously struggling to connect. Maybe you’re a newlywed whose husband is considering applying for law enforcement. Maybe you’re in the process of wedding planning and just preparing for the life ahead of you.
No matter what stage you’re in, you’re probably wondering whether you’re really strong enough to hack it as a police wife.
I mean, seriously. Are you strong enough to handle the stress? The uncertainty? The fear of getting that knock on your door?
If you’re doubting your ability to thrive as a police wife, I’m here to give you some encouragement.
5 Things To Know If You Don’t Feel Cut Out For Police Wife Life
I know when you’re in the midst of your own hard times, it’s easy to feel like you have it worse than literally everyone around you. I’ve fallen into that trap of feeling sorry for myself more times than I can count, even though I know better.
The thing is, you don’t have to look far to see someone who has it way worse. You can also find people who have problems that aren’t yours, but are still hard to them – even if they seem easily navigable to you.
Do you remember that part in The Princess Bride where Princess Buttercup says, “You mock my pain!” and Wesley says, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” (If you haven’t seen this movie, go watch it! It’s hilarious. But anyway…)
It’s true. Life is filled with all kinds of hardships and pain – for everybody. Not just for you. And that’s not just a murky view of life, it’s the truth.
What matters in the end is how you deal with those struggles. If you collapse under the weight of them and say, “No more. It’s too much for me,” well, then that’s it. You’re done. If, instead, you choose to see them as an opportunity for growth, you can cry for a minute, then pull yourself back up and keep going.
If you choose the second option, I promise you won’t regret it.
The police wife you know who appears to have it all together probably doesn’t.
If the reason you’re doubting your ability to make it in this life is because you see someone else and think, “She really knows what she’s doing. I should be more like her,” stop it. Right now.
Everywhere you go in life, you’re going to see people who look like they have it all together. Like they know exactly what they’re doing and do it effortlessly. Like everything they touch turns to gold.
Like they never complain and have the perfect marriage and kids who never misbehave… Pah. Not true. I promise, no matter how awesome she is, perfection is an illusion.
None of us have it all together. Even if some people have it “more” together than others, you didn’t necessarily see the struggle they went through to get there.
Maybe that woman struggled with the things you’re struggling with now in the past, and has learned coping mechanisms that work for her. If that’s the case, you can always ask her.
If she puts on a holier-than-thou attitude when you ask about it, don’t take it personally. Recognize she’s not the resource you want, and move on to finding someone else who can help. And realize all that perfection is probably more facade than anything, if she’s that rude 😉
You’re married to the man, not the job.
I know they seem virtually indistinguishable at times, but truly, before your husband is a police officer, he’s your man. You married him because you love him, in spite of his probably numerous flaws. Nothing against him, to be clear – it’s just that we’re all human and are filled with flaws. It happens.
But in spite of all those personality quirks that you might find charming right now that make you want to punch him later (it happens), you said, “This is the man. This is the one I’ve waited for. This is The One, my soul mate, the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Paraphrased, of course 🙂
But the point is, you married him because you wanted him – for good and bad, for the ups and downs, in sickness and in health. The challenges presented by this life might be difficult, but they’re part of the package.
When you find the one you’re meant to be with, take heart and know you can weather any storm. Let your love for him get you through the hardest of times.
None of us are necessarily cut out for the things we’re supposed to do.
Everyone who starts on a path starts as a beginner. Whether it’s a hobby, a marriage, a lifestyle, whatever – nobody starts out instantly gifted at whatever they feel called to do.
Okay, well almost nobody – I’ll give you that. But 99% of the time, this is the case.
Struggling to do something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not supposed to do it. After all, God doesn’t always call the qualified. He qualifies the people He calls. He helps strengthen them through trials and temptations.
Honestly, the process of struggling and improving over time is the best thing you could ever ask for. If you were successful at everything right away, you would miss out on countless lessons in faith, humility, perseverance, in your own ability to do things… and that’s just scratching the surface! You wouldn’t be able to learn any of those things without a little struggle.
Pretty much all the most desirable mental traits are built like muscles. They have to be strained in order to be built. Like, have you ever prayed to God for patience, and He responded by giving you the most frustrating day you’ve ever had? That was the answer. He was providing you opportunities to flex your “patience muscle.”
Likewise, police wife life offers countless opportunities to build your muscles. It can help you learn to be more independent, more self-sufficient, to reach out to others, to build a community around you, to come closer to God, to learn about what good and evil look like, to overcome fear, to make better decisions for yourself and your family, to build your marriage in spite of trials… everything.
Nothing that happens to you is by accident.
You are where you’re supposed to be.
If nothing that happens in your life is a mistake, you can take comfort in knowing that right here, right now is exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Seriously, pause for a moment and take it all in. Look at where you are. Take in the feeling of it all; the smell, the scenery, the noise, everything.
Now think: This is your life. This is what you’ve got to work with. You can’t trade it for anyone else’s, no matter how much you wish upon a star to do so.
So what are you going to do with it?
In the end, your life is a gift. It’s the time you have to be in mortality, to learn and grow, to become the person you were meant to be.
While the things you go through may not make a lot of sense when you’re actually going through them, I promise you’ll look back and be able to see the blessings they were in the long run. Just keep moving!
If you’re filled with self-doubt about taking on the police wife life, don’t! Yes, your life is filled with difficulties your friends and family may not understand, but that’s okay. You’ve got this!