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Wondering how to support your officer?  These are the things your police husband needs most from you in order to survive emotionally in law enforcement.

Whether you’ve been a police wife for a while or you’re brand new to the life, you’ve probably asked yourself: what does my husband really need from me?

Especially when you see your husband struggling, the question is bound to come up.  It’s easy to question whether you’re enough for him or not – or strong enough to take this life at all (spoiler alert: you are doing better than you think you are – you’ve got this!)

The fact is, police wife life isn’t easy.  There’s a lot going against him – and you.

But if you’re wondering what specific things your officer needs most from you, here’s a short list:

The 5 Things Your Police Officer Husband Needs Most From You

Your love.

He needs to know he is loved and accepted by you, no matter what.  No matter what he succeeds at, what he fails at, his strengths, his flaws, no matter what.

(I mean, barring egregious wrongdoing – but you get what I mean.)

He needs to know that (to quote Kristoff in the newest Frozen, ha!) your love isn’t fragile.

He needs to know you’re his biggest cheerleader, because the world is a harsh, unsupportive place for the police these days.  He needs his family by his side more than he ever has before.

He needs to know he is treasured by you – irreplaceable, special, and loved beyond compare.

Related: check out these tips on how to reconnect with your officer in the midst of police wife life.

Your encouragement.

Your officer needs to know you support him. That you’re there to help him make the right decisions, no matter how big and scary life can get.

This is especially important when he inevitably comes home after a shift that breaks him a little – one he can hardly bear to talk about.

If you haven’t had one of those shifts, you inevitably will.

In those moments especially, he needs to know he’s not in it all by himself (even if he sometimes acts like he’s got it all on his own).  He needs to know you’ve got his six in the ups and downs.

He needs to know you trust and believe in him to survive emotionally.

Your perspective.

Sometimes, whether he admits it or not, he’s really going to need a different perspective from his own.

Maybe that means your softness, your ability to see the good in the world, or your ability to find a silver lining in the stormiest clouds.

Maybe it’s your blunt honesty or your sense of humor.

Maybe it’s the way you can cut through what he’s saying to the heart of what he’s trying to say.

Whatever it is, he needs the special things that your personality brings to the table to balance out the roughness that comes out in the world of law enforcement.

Your grace.

He needs your forgiveness when he makes a mistake, and your ability to see the good in him even when he’s acting the fool.

I know – it’s hard.  I get it – sometimes he acts like a bonehead and you’d rather smack him than show mercy. 

But I’ve personally learned how much more powerful it is to meet grumpiness with kindness, and how much better it feels to keep your cool.

This is closely tied in with love (which, another spoiler alert: I talk about a lot in my newest book, Refuge), but it’s worth mentioning on its own, too!

Your prayers.

You’re only human, after all.  You can only do so much.  Fortunately, there’s a source of unlimited power you can draw from: God.

Instead of relying on your own power and strength, your officer needs you to pray for him – to invite God into your lives and ask for His help in everything he faces.

To pray for his safety and discernment at work. To pray for his ability to be the husband and father he needs to be. To be the person God needs him to be.

It’s the simplest, most powerful thing you can do.

If you need more ideas on what to pray for specifically for your officer, check out this post with prayer ideas for police officers.


More than anything, I just want you to know how important you are to your husband! He couldn’t be the officer he is without you. Don’t ever forget that!


What does your police husband need most from you?  These 5 things are a great start.


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