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Am I the only one who gets my best ideas in the shower?

The other morning, I told my husband I was hopping in the shower and wanted him to take the little one.  It wasn’t a question – because I was totally, 100% done that day.

I locked the door and took a nice, long, hot shower by myself for the first time in weeks… and I cried.

The weight of all my responsibilities was crushing me.  I was overwhelmed.  Scared.  Tired.

As I stood under the hot water trying to relax, all I could think about was the fact that it wouldn’t be long before I had to get out of that shower and face everything again.

I was thinking to myself, “Why can’t our lives be easier?  I’d rock at being just a wife and mom without all the other stuff.  That would be super easy.”

That’s when the thought struck me: that’s exactly the point.

It’s hard to be a police wife.

Seriously.  When your “happily ever after” consists of doing almost everything by yourself and supporting a husband who sees the words of the world, it can be a little disheartening.  It’s not exactly what you probably dreamed of as a little girl.  It’s not what I dreamed about, either.

Neither is a husband who struggles with chronic pain – and both are incredibly trying situations, when it comes down to it.

And it was weird – because I’d never really thought of it that way.  But as the thought washed over me, it felt right.  It made sense.  The life I was given was given to me because I’m strong enough to deal with it.  And it’s not actually supposed to be easy.

I felt so comforted in that moment, knowing that even though I felt broken and not good enough, everything I was going through was there for a reason.

And the reason?  It’s that God wants more from me.  He wants me to be stronger.  And that means he has to let me hurt sometimes.

The thing is – you’re here for a reason.

All those challenges you face?  They’re challenges that are designed specifically for you.

And doesn’t that give you hope?  If you were given this life for a reason, it means you’re equal to the task.

But if you’re going to make it, you need to start saying the right prayers.

When I thought about my situation from the perspective that it’s designed that way, I realized the reason my prayers weren’t being answered is because I was praying the wrong prayers.

Whenever I was overwhelmed, I’d stop and pray that our situation would get easier.  That my husband would see what I need from him and hop to it.  That he’d have more time for us – and for me.  That my son would be more obedient and less a pain in my butt.  That we’d have all the money we need and stop having to be so stressed about our budget all the time.

Instead of praying for my life to be better, what I needed to pray for was for God to give me the strength to overcome our challenges.

I needed to pray for comfort.

I needed to pray for wisdom to see things as He sees them.

I needed to pray for patience and faith in His timing.

When I stopped thinking of the issues we were facing as accidents getting in the way of our lives, my eyes were opened to see that they’re a necessary part of our lives.

Stop wishing for your life to be easier.  Start praying instead that you’ll be better, stronger and that you’ll have the support and grace you need. Pray for Him to take away the stuff you don’t need so you can focus on the things that matter most.

You can do this.  You were meant for this.

So get out there and rock it, friend 🙂

This is perfect. Honestly, exactly what I needed. Not so much a "suck it up buttercup" but a, you can do this because police life is a challenge designed FOR you. Love it.


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