When your officer sees bad stuff every day it can weigh you down, but in this article, Leah Everly explains how to live a positive life, even as a LEO wife.
As someone who tries desperately to be an optimist, it can really weigh on me when my husband’s more jaded view of society comes out.
Like when he questions the motives of someone I assume is just being nice, or when he gets all grumpy when he sees a panhandler when all I see is someone who needs help.
Or when he refuses to believe the drug addict who’s slipped up 20 times, even though they seem super dedicated to getting clean this time.
It’s even more disheartening when he (almost inevitably) ends up being right.
See, as positive as I would like to be, I also have a husband who has seen a lot of things I can’t even imagine. Who knows stuff way more evil than I would ever come up with.
Even though that makes being a positive person a lot harder, I think it’s possible to be realistic but also be positive about things.
But I guess that begs the question of HOW to live a positive life when you’re surrounded by so much negativity? Well, I’m hoping I can give you some good tips in this post 🙂
How To Live A Positive Life As A Police Wife
Refuse to play the “what-if?” game.
This is first and foremost on the list, because it’s such an incredible temptation for police wives, especially in this political climate.
When he’s late, when he’s grumpy, heck – when you’re just quietly minding your own business, it’s pretty normal for thoughts of doom and gloom to creep in. I get it!
What you need to remember, though, is that today has enough trouble of its own (see Matthew 6:34). Worrying what COULD happen isn’t going to prevent anything from happening – it’ll just sap your energy for the present moment.
Don’t waste your precious time and energy miring yourself down in what COULD happen to your officer, or you, or your kids, or whatever else you might be worried about.
Take appropriate preventive measures, like getting adequate life insurance on yourself and the rest of your family, doing what you can to keep your kids safe, prayerfully make your own right decisions (including possibly being armed), then move along.
In the hustle and bustle of life, slowing down to take even just a minute or two to be quiet and still can be incredibly rejuvenating.
When you’re waiting for something – say, kids in the school pickup line, your officer when he’s late, or even in a doctor’s waiting room – skip the opportunity to scroll through your phone and just be still.
Breathe. Be in the moment.
Intentionally taking these moments throughout the day will help you be calm enough to take action when you need to.
Note: I really like the Calm app for helping with this!
This is, of course, related to being still, but slightly different.
I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have to live life with a spring in my butt sometimes. It feels like everyone needs something from me at the same time, like I need to take care of the house, like I need some “me time”…. all the time.
Because of that, slowing down feels like a tall order – but it’s so, so necessary.
When you’re all fired up and trying to tackle everything at once, it’s easy to get burned out. If you slow down, take a breath, and choose to tackle one problem at a time, you’ll be a lot better off.
To quote Frozen 2, “Do the next right thing.” The NEXT right thing – the next step, not the whole staircase.
I promise, slowing down won’t make the world fall apart, no matter what you might say to yourself about it otherwise.
On that note…
Speak life to yourself.
I struggle with being super mean to myself in my head, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one.
But just because it’s common doesn’t make it okay.
Lady, you are amazing. I know I don’t know you, Mrs. Current Reader, but I do know that I could probably never live your life. You’ve probably had tons of experiences I could say, “Woah, way to go!”
Instead of ruminating on the things you were unable to do at the end of the day, focus on the good things. Think about all the things you were able to do. You can even give yourself credit for what you tried to do – because hey, at least you tried!
As Mister Rogers might say, I like you just the way you are. Now you need to feel the same way about yourself! Kick out the Negative Nancy that lives in your head and start speaking to yourself like you would the rest of your loved ones.
If you’re really struggling with this, you might consider starting a positivity journal to help change your thoughts. It’s helped a lot for me!
Truly live your faith.
Let me start this question by asking, what is faith?
Hebrews 11:1 states:
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Faith isn’t a perfect knowledge that God is there, that He is taking care of you, and that everything is working for your good. It’s the hope that He is.
As such, I know I’ve had moments where I’ve professed to have faith, but I was still living in fear.
I had to have some tough come-to-Jesus self-talks (pretty literally here) about, if God doesn’t lie, then when He says He has never and will never left me, what’s stopping me from actually feeling it and believing it?
The biggest turning point I had was reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Peale.
It really highlighted how my beliefs and how I acted were divergent. Because I thought fearfully and lived the same way – even though I said I believed in God and everything He has said.
This book changed everything about the way I live out my faith: from my self-confidence, to my belief that I truly can do all things through Christ, to the way I pray, to the way I serve – everything. I highly recommend it as an amazing resource for how to live a positive life in any circumstance, but especially as a police wife.
While having a positive attitude isn’t going to prevent struggles in life, it will definitely help you overcome them with more joy and more confidence.
Is there anything you’ve found that helps you be more positive as a police wife? If so, feel free to leave it in the comments – or if you’re feeling a little shy, email firstname.lastname@example.org and I’d be happy to add it to this post!
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