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Does your husband feel called to law enforcement but you’re not so sure? Here’s how you can get on board and #backtheblue fully!
Funny story: When my husband and I first started dating, he was actually studying to be an engineer.
Part of me thought, “Cool! Money!”
Just kidding – but also, a little not.
After a few months, he confessed his heart wasn’t in it. He hated the thought of being stuck behind a desk for the rest of his life. Even though he was good at the math and science stuff, he didn’t like it all that much.
He told me what he really wanted to do was be in law enforcement.
I mean, a big part of me thought it was cool and thought he’d look awfully handsome in uniform. Not going to lie. But the reality was there, too – the reality of what that life would actually entail.
It would mean he was in danger, all the time. It would mean doing a lot of stuff on my own, including raising children someday. It would mean a lifetime of uncertainty in our schedule.
So, because I loved this man, I had to find a way to fall in love with his dreams, too.
If you’re reading this, I’m betting you’re in the same boat. You’re in love with a man who’s feeling called to law enforcement – in this day and age, no less.
Even though it’s scary, both in terms of possible injury/death and the uncertainty of the whole thing, you can learn to love your husband’s dreams, too.
How To Support Your Husband When He Feels Called To Law Enforcement
Get into your husband’s head.
Do you fully understand why your husband wants to be a police officer? If not, it’s time to find out why.
The thing is, it’s going to be hard to adapt to all the changes of police wife life if you don’t understand why he wants to get into it in the first place. If you’re having to make all these sacrifices and spend so much time dealing with stuff on your own but you don’t know why it’s so important to him, it’s a great recipe for feeling unappreciated and taken for granted.
Talk to your husband as often as possible. Get to know why it is he feels so called to law enforcement. Because most of the time, getting into law enforcement isn’t just about getting a job. It’s about feeling called to it for a higher purpose.
In any case, understanding your husband’s motivation will help you feel more at peace about everything required of you and your family. It’s what will get you through the times where you don’t see your husband for days on end and you think you might crack under the pressure. It’s what will help you feel proud of his sacrifices, rather than feel resentful of them.
Having the right motivation is a big part of being happy as a police wife.
Learn more about what it will mean for you.
Getting to know what police wife life will look like for you will help give you realistic expectations about what to expect.
Try to find women in the area who’ve lived the life for a while and who can give you tips. Even if you can’t get acquainted with other police wives nearby, find your tribe of women to lean on when times get hard. Even though other police wives will more intimately understand what you’re going through, that’s not a must-have! Other women can still relate to aspects of things you’re going through, and most importantly, can love you through it.
There are also lots of books written for police wives that can help you prepare for what life will be like when he joins the force. I have a whole post dedicated to books for police wives – be sure to check it out!
Plus, of course, the rest of this blog is full of posts to help you 🙂
Getting all your feelings out about what your husband wants to do can help you sort things out for yourself. Whether you need to write it all out in a journal, pray your heart out, talk it out in a voice note, whatever, getting your emotions out without shaming or judging yourself is going to help you deal with them a lot better.
Being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling is going to help you better communicate those concerns to your husband, and communication is essential to keeping your marriage strong and happy through all the ups and downs of law enforcement life.
Also, pray about it! If you bring God all your questions, concerns, and doubts, He will absolutely give you the answers and comfort you need to make it through. While you may only see a small sliver of His plan for you and your husband, He sees the whole thing and will always be there to help you!
Cherish what an amazing man you’ve married.
With all the anxiety that surely comes along with the idea of being a police wife, you have to give your husband some serious credit. I mean, of all the career paths he could choose, he’s choosing one that’s low-paid, dangerous, and not necessarily well liked in the current political climate.
He knows he’ll be in danger. He knows he’ll deal with some of the worst people imaginable. I mean, even when he’s not dealing with straight-up evil, he’ll still deal with a lot of annoying people (you know, the ones who protest, saying, “I pay your salary!”)
That’s kind of impressive, right? That says a lot about his character.
In your fear of what’s to come, remember what a gift you have in your selfless, brave husband.
Police wife life is not always easy, but it’s absolutely worth it. Seeing your husband go off to work to do what he loves most can be terrifying, but it’s also hugely rewarding – for both of you!
- The Best Advice For New Police Wives (From Women Who’ve Been There!)
- 5 Things To Know If You Don’t Feel Cut Out For Police Wife Life
- How To Cope With The 10 Most Common Police Wife Problems
- God Made You A Police Wife: 5 Ways To Make The Most Of That