Before I was married, I think I was the best wife in the world.
I would never nag my husband. I’d always have awesome dinners ready for him, whether I worked or stayed at home. I’d always keep a clean house. I’d never forget how much I love him. I’d never find him annoying. I’d never get worked up over the little things. My libido would never decrease, even after kids (ha ha ha).
I mean, they were great intentions… but let’s be real. Real life gets in the way of being the perfect wife… because there’s just no such thing.
But you know what does exist? Awesome wives.
Awesome wives may not be perfect, but they try. They care. They make every single day count (you know, except the days that suck, because they happen.)
But when they hit a bad day, do they give up? Nope! They keep on trucking, and that’s what really counts.
See, your relationship is like a bank account.
When money is good, money is flowing, you want to sock some of that money away for when, say, your toilet backs up and you have to call in a plumber, a Hazmat team, flooring guys, etc. because you don’t want to be in a financial bind when that day comes. If you don’t, it’s time to rack up debt, and that’s no fun.
Similarly, when times are good, it’s a great idea to make deposits into your relationship: that is, doing the small things that mean a lot to your spouse. Those little deposits are a great way to hold you over when, say, you forgot to pick up his uniform from the dry cleaners and he’s scrambling before work, or for when he’s gone for three days straight because there was a major incident at work.
If you don’t, the debt in your relationship is a little trickier. Sometimes it’s no big deal, but when it starts collecting interest (as in, you let it fester and the tiny things start becoming big things), it needs to be dealt with quickly (too far with the metaphor? Oh well.)
Point is, you don’t know what’s going to happen and when. So by doing small acts of service regularly, you can help buffer your relationship when crap hits the fan.
40 Ways to Be An Awesome Wife To Your Husband
- Make his favorite dinner.
- Do one of the chores he’s usually responsible for (bonus points for not mentioning it!)
- Compliment him (especially on something you know he might be struggling with right now)
- Wear something he’s said he likes on you.
- Plan a special date night, start to finish.
- Buy him a small gift. (a Reese’s peanut butter cup goes a surprisingly long way with my husband.)
- Make him breakfast (or lunch, or dinner, as the case may be) in bed.
- Ask him point-blank how you can make his day better.
- Tell him how much you appreciate him and why.
- Have you been holding a grudge? Take action steps to forgive it – or just let it go altogether.
- Kiss him – no, I mean really kiss him, like when you were dating. No pecks on the cheek, here.
- Put away your phone/tablet/computer when he’s in the room.
- Hand over control of the remote for a night or two.
- Run him a nice, warm, bubbly bath to help him relax when he’s stressed.
- Ask him to work out with you one day (whether that’s going for a run, lifting weights, or just going for a walk – this is great for endorphins!)
- Spend time daydreaming: about future homes, future kids, or future vacations.
Tip: One way I like to do this is with a travel brochure. I got a National Geographic travel brochure a few weeks ago and we spent an hour talking about what we’d want to do if we could!
- Tell him he’s your hero.
- Make his favorite dessert.
- Get dolled up just for him, like you did when you were dating.
- Make a CD of songs that make you think of him – it’s something he can listen to when he’s on patrol, so find stuff that will make him happy!
- Tell him one reason you love him (or randomly text it to him.)
- Read a book he’s recommended to you.
- Rent a movie he’s wanted to watch for a while.
- Make the table nicely for dinner, even if it’s just pizza.
- Gush about what a great dad he is (and why the kids love him!)
- If you regularly interrupt him when he’s talking, try to get out of the habit.
- Initiate sex – because literally nothing will make you as close of a couple as this will, and this one works quickly. (I mean, you know, not too quickly or anything.) You can also read more on how to have an amazing sex life as a police couple here 🙂
- If you’re craftily inclined, make him something.
- Help your kids make him something, if you’re not so craftily inclined 🙂
- Send him a sweet text during the workday.
- Leave a note (or several) for him to find randomly.
Ideas: under his pillow, in his usual box of cereal, on top of a plate of food in the fridge.
- Tell him you’re glad you married him.
- Hold hands with him (make use of those endorphins, baby!)
- If his car is in need of a wash, get it washed (or wash it yourself).
- Go the entire day without nagging him (this is sometimes a tall order around here, not gonna lie.)
- Give him a massage.
- Pay full attention to him when he’s talking.
- Iron/steam his uniform.
- Buy his favorite candy bar when you go grocery shopping.
- Frame a family picture for him for his bedside table, desk, or cruiser. Bonus points for a nice note on the back.
Seriously – debt in your relationship is no bueno. So make some deposits today 🙂
What’s your favorite thing to do for your husband?
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You are such a blessing to your husband, especially given his service in such a vital yet under appreciated field. God bless you and your family. Please convey to your husband my family’s thanks for his efforts in keeping the world safer.
Love this!! – Also, I rub his head or scratch his back. Makes him fall asleep fast! 😍😍😍
Three ways that I try to be an awesome wife is to 1. talk to him about everything before making a decision. Even though I am the bookkeeper in the family, he is still the leader of our household. Giving him input and say-so makes him feel wanted, needed, valued and respected as the man of the house. 2. I pray for him and with him. As a Christian family, prayer is vital. Being a praying wife and mother makes all the difference in our family as a whole. If I haven’t prayed in a while, our family feels it. 3. My husband gets up early every morning and makes breakfast for us all. He doesn’t have to do it, but he does it out of love. Saying the words Thank You definitely goes a long way.
You can be like me and check off 36 of those suggestions as done and have your husband still want a divorce after almost 12 years of marriage. Of course he thinks he’s in love with a woman he met while working. A month ago!!! Wtf??
For husband it’s peanut M&Ms 🙂 Thank you for all of the great ideas!
My husband is not in the police force but these are nevertheless some great ideas! I especially like #31.