When The World Hates Your Husband

 

There’s a lot of bad press about cops lately.  Have you noticed?  Who am I kidding: of course you have. It’s impossible to miss… unfortunately.  There are countless articles that call the police power-hungry, over-militarized, trigger-happy, insensitive, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

If you’re anything like me, they strike a nerve (to say the least!)

You know your husband. You know his friends.  You know them as people who feel called to law enforcement because they want to make the world a better place.  You know how their jobs touch their hearts, even when they have a hard time showing it.

Sure, maybe they’re a little rough around the edges.  Maybe they’re a little stubborn and hard headed, and occasionally they crack jokes at inappropriate times (cop humor, am I right?), but they definitely aren’t monsters.  The accusations brought against them would be almost laughable if they weren’t so dangerous.

With that being said, I’d like you to consider something.

john 1518

Your husband isn’t the first man to have his motives questioned.  He’s not the first to be misrepresented and slandered.  He’s certainly not the first to be treated unfairly.  Christ felt all those things.  He was perfect and innocent, yet called a liar, a blasphemer, and worse.  He stood in the line of fire for us, even the ones who ended up taking his life.  They didn’t appreciate it at the time, either.

When you see these articles decrying police as villains, try to remember who it is that truly sees and understands your husband.

Who sees when he puts himself on the line to protect others.

Who sees when he runs toward danger instead of running away.

Who sees when he cries out in prayer for those he’s met who are afflicted.

Who sees when he deals honestly with those who lie to him.

Who sees when he shows mercy to those who least deserve it, when a man who he’s arrested asks, “You must think I’m a piece of crap,” and he says, “I don’t.  Everyone makes mistakes.”

When he does the right thing, not because anybody’s looking, but simply because it’s the right thing.

There is one on high who sees all these things and won’t forget them.  Those good things will be rewarded eternally, and the things that are unfair will be made right a hundred times over.  So don’t bother getting in a Facebook argument about the nature of the police force. Choose your battles wisely, and remember… Your husband isn’t the first man the world has hated.

Update 7/25/16: If you need more help dealing with the recent war on cops, I wrote another post here: How to Deal With the War on Cops As A Police Wife

Great reminder <3 It's so hard being a police wife anyway... but especially right now. "If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first."

About The Author

Leah

I’m a twenty-something LEO wife and stay-at-home mom to a one-year-old little boy. I enjoy writing, reading, taking my son for walks and runs in the stroller, and crafting. My goal is for Love and Blues to be a resource for first responders and their families. I write about marriage and family topics, as well as about the quirks that come with being married to a man in law enforcement, firefighting, or emergency medical services.

  • The media blows things up all the time. They bring out the ugly in everything. I’m sure we all know how biased it is. I know it’s hard, but don’t buy into all this garbage. The majority of Americans don’t feel that way.

    • Thank you for your kind words 🙂

  • What an interesting post! I can see how this would feel with a military spouse, or someone on the police force. There are also times when the “World” hates a lot of us for various reasons. Thanks for this insight!

  • Great reminder and encouragement for those dealing with this issues at such a personal level, Leah. I have a huge respect for anyone who works in service where they can potentially risk their life for mine. That includes our military, all the way down to local law enforcement, first responders, etc. The majority are well-intentioned individuals who care about the lives of the people in the communities they serve. Have a blessed week!

    • Thank you so much! You as well 🙂

  • Naomi

    That was a beautiful article, well put!

  • Melinda Reay

    What a great post! Struggling to come to grips with this but I’m sure I’ll find it eventually 🙂

    • You’ll get there! The truth is, it isn’t all or nothing. Sometimes anger gets the best of me, but I just have to remind myself of this and remember the long-term plan!

  • Liv

    I assure you – it’s not the whole world. Just the media. Thank goodness for men like your husband. And shame on the men who have cast their shadow on him.

  • My husband is a LEO as well. I love this perspective. Thank you for sharing!

  • Michelle

    This is a great article and one that is so relevant to what is happening in society. Your husband sounds lucky to have you in his corner

    • Thanks so much 🙂 I know, it does seem that every day there’s a new article about rampant police brutality. It’s a bad climate for LEOs.

  • It’s sooooo hard. Unfortunately there are bad people on all sides of the fence, and stupid/ignorant/misinformed people on all sides of the fence. There are definitely cops out there who are racist or corrupt, but when did we start judging an entire group of people on the actions of a few? I have almost always had super positive experiences with police officers-and at most, the worst thing I’ve ever experienced is a cop who’s a little rude or abrasive. Mostly though, I’ve been so grateful for the cops who are compassionate and took time to help me in the middle of an accident when I was bawling or who waved a ticket because they understood I didn’t mean to break the law. There are plenty of decent officers out there who I am proud to support.

    I do think, that as a whole, a lot of the police force needs some revamping. Not everywhere probably, but in a good chunk of places. Unfortunately there are entire departments that are just so corrupt or being run improperly. It takes good cops like your husband to stand up and show people and other officers, what a real policeman looks like. I hope he does a good job of it.

    Sending much love!

    • I agree with you… To an extent. As with any industry, there is always room for improvement and law enforcement is no exception. Police officers are human after all! However, I don’t believe there’s a widespread crisis of corruption and brutality. Many (might I even say most) of the stories in the news are misrepresent (or outright fabricate) facts. I don’t believe that there’s a small percentage of good cops who show the rest how it’s done: I believe there’s a small percentage of bad cops who are overrepresented in the media.. And like I said, even some of those “bad cops” are victims of misrepresentation!
      That being said, thank you for your comment and thank you for the love!

  • Good on you for not letting it bring you down. I know it must be hard sometimes but there are people out there who don’t blame every cop. The news only gives us bad news. They don’t share the moments a cop saves a boys life, or a firefighter saving a kitten, etc. The news is full of fear and anger and sadness. Tell your husband thank you for doing what he does and be safe <3

    • Thank you! I certainly will 🙂

  • Hi Leah,

    Stereotypes have ruined our society. Every cop is not a bad person and every priest is not a saint. Though, I do understand where you are coming from because I do get similar reactions about my business. How many people believe that psychics mediums are frauds? Now tell me, how much work I need to do to prove that it is the other way around. I bet it is the same thing with your husband.

    He feels that he has to prove himself on a daily basis to as not to get a bad name. I applaud your courage to write such a post. You are a strong woman who stands by her husband no matter what. I really admire you girl!

    Zaria

    • Thank you so much! 🙂

  • Thank you Leah, my hubby is a leo and I am as well a stay at home mom. Thank you for this great reminder. I really appreciate your article. ❤️

    • I’m so glad it was helpful to you 🙂 Thank you for your nice comment!

  • Carista Wilson

    This is just the only real Christian response to any persecution. We must be able to find Christ in every siruation. We must be able to find that light and then walk in it and let our lights shine in this Darkness.

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