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Browsing Tag: help for law enforcement marriage

3 Reasons To Go To Church as a Law Enforcement Family (And How To Make It Happen)

Most people live for the weekend, celebrating Friday as the last day of the work week. Saturday is for sleeping in and resting, getting caught up on house and yard work, and spending time as a family. Sunday is another day of rest, and for many, it’s the day to go to church. 

We all know this isn’t the case for those who work the weekends. Friday is typically the busiest night of the week, Saturday is full of overtime opportunities, and Sunday is often just another day on the job. In the law enforcement field, someone always has to be at work. And that someone is often one of our husbands. 
 
It has always taken me a while to come to terms with the loss of the “typical” weekend. Sure, the days off are nice in the middle of the week and you won’t hear me complaining about having a three day weekend every week. But after three years of my husband working as a first responder and a police officer, I have done my fair share of “actual” weekends without him. 
 
One of the hardest parts of these weekends is getting myself and two kids under two to church.
 
Honestly, it would be so much easier to just stay home in our pajamas.

5 Elements of a Bulletproof Law Enforcement Marriage

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I remember the first time I saw my husband in his uniform.  It blew my mind.

I mean, not only did he look super handsome (there’s something to be said about a man in uniform, after all ;)) and he’d shaved his face completely for the first time since I’d known him, but it reminded me of the new person he was becoming.

That uniform signified the new power and responsibility he had.  It signified the commitment he’d made to protect and serve, no matter what it cost.  Whether the cost was just a much-needed day off, or his safety, or even his life.

But that uniform also reminded me that with that commitment, I was now second in his life.  Don’t get me wrong – when it’s his choice, I come first.  But when it’s not?  The job always comes first.  No matter whether I’m sick, no matter if we have a newborn… if the world needs him, he’s there.

It’s a lot like being married to Batman, I swear, and there’s nothing more frustrating than when I need my husband and that bat signal shows up and takes him away.

Because of all the sacrifices he has to make for the job, the statistic that we only have a 25% chance of making it is ever-present in my mind.  With every frustration I experience because of the job, I remember how important my marriage is to me.  Being one of the 75% of law enforcement marriages that doesn’t make it is not good enough for me.

Because you know what?  I’m determined.  I’m not one to just give up in the face of adversity.  In fact, the harder things get, the more determined I get to be successful.  I want to beat the odds, and whatever it takes, my marriage is worth it – especially now that we have kids.

At times, the statistics about law enforcement marriage have scared me.  Overall, though, they’ve been a catalyst to make me more careful, more intentional about caring for my marriage.  It forces me to realize that the marriage of my dreams isn’t going to happen by chance.  It’s going to happen because we worked for it.

If you want to divorce-proof your marriage, these 5 things are what you’ll want to focus on.