Sexting is kind of a hot topic. I mean, you read about it all the time, though usually the articles are talking about teens and how they’re getting into trouble because of sexting.
While the implications of grown, married people sexting one another are a world away from those of teenagers doing it, it’s still just not a good idea.
And I suppose I should be clear here: by sexting, I’m talking about sending photos/videos to your significant other. I’m not talking about flirty/sexy, plain-text texts. I realize these both technically fit the definition, but one can be a fun way of building anticipation and facilitating closeness with your spouse, and one, well, as I’m about to explain, has a lot of drawbacks.
It’s not that hard to hack a cell phone, and once someone has, they can access (and even distribute – see my next point) the photos you intended to only be seen by your husband’s eyes.
Even hackers aside, how mortified would you be if your husband was trying to show a coworker, say, a picture of your kids or a funny meme, and they accidentally swiped (because we all know someone who swipes to see more even when it’s not our intention) and saw a photo you sent him?
Cell phones are just not secure enough to feel safe sending sexts to your husband.
As mentioned, hackers can fairly easily gain access to your phone. What would happen if those photos you sent your husband were distributed?
Sure, you could probably track them down. Criminal charges would maybe be filed.
But the fact is, once those photos are out there on the internet, you’re going to be hard-pressed to erase them permanently. As they say, the internet never forgets.
It’s just not worth risking your reputation or even your job to flirt with your husband through provocative images.
On top of that, if (Heaven forbid) you and your husband were to break up, there is always the chance that he could use those images against you. Sure, you may “know” right now that he would never do that, but people have been known to become nastier than usual in the face of divorce. Who really knows?
Okay, so this is going to be a fairly controversial point. And of course, it depends on exactly what you’re sending, etc. And I hope nobody feels overly offended here, because that’s definitely not my intention. But hear me out.
Sending Playboy-worthy images, even if it’s of yourself, is, in my opinion, just another form of pornography.
There are differences, to be sure. After all, you’re not being forced or coerced into doing it (and yes, many of the girls in porn are. If you don’t believe me, read more here.)
The thing is, pictures like this are an extension of our pornified culture. They’re an extension of the way women are viewed in society: as sexual objects, first and foremost. If there’s anything that makes me feel less sexy, it’s the feeling that I’m not being treated with respect.. and taking questionable pictures of myself sure doesn’t feel like a way to honor myself and my body.
Especially as a mom, I feel I understand the sacredness of my body in a way I never have before. I think about how it created and carried a child, how it nurtured and nursed that same child until he was old enough for “real food”. I feel a certain reverence toward my body, and it doesn’t feel right to cheapen it by turning it into purely a sexual object.
So with all this being said, again, I don’t want to discourage you from flirty/seductive texts to your husband. They can be a great part of a healthy relationship! In fact, I found a great post a while back with fun ideas if you’re at a loss.
But what I do want to urge you to think more about is whether you should send sexy pictures/videos to your husband.
I’m a twenty-something LEO wife and stay-at-home mom to a one-year-old little boy. I enjoy writing, reading, taking my son for walks and runs in the stroller, and crafting. My goal is for Love and Blues to be a resource for first responders and their families. I write about marriage and family topics, as well as about the quirks that come with being married to a man in law enforcement, firefighting, or emergency medical services.
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