There’s nothing worse than hearing something that was said about you from a secondhand source.
Seriously – I’d love to think gossip and cattiness like that was left in high school, but unfortunately, some people don’t take the whole, “don’t talk about people behind their backs” things to heart. Know what I mean?
But even for people who wouldn’t consider themselves gossipy, it’s pretty “normal” to talk about your husband behind his back to, say, your mom or your friends. I get it.
I can’t honestly remember the last time I consistently had a “normal” weekend.
I guess probably when I was 15 – that’s when I got my first job. But I totally would have done it sooner if I could have. I was dying to make better and more consistent money than I could babysitting (and by doing something other than babysitting, because I’m not necessarily a natural with kids.)
But because I worked all through high school and college, I got pretty used to Saturdays and Sundays not actually being the “weekend” for me.
At times, it’s sucked. I mean, who wants to have to miss family events or arrive late/leave early because they have to go to a stupid job? Especially when it’s beautiful outside and you’re busy bagging groceries for people who get to have a way more fun day than you.
This past Friday, my most recent contribution to My Joy-Filled Life was published. Yay!
My newest post was inspired by some of my friends and family. I’ve gotten a lot of messages from them asking how they can support their local law enforcement. They’ve said they couldn’t figure out a way to show appreciation that doesn’t come off as bribery, that officers can enjoy without worrying that the treats have been tampered with, and that they could actually get to police officers (since, as you know, they’re constantly on the move.)
It’s 5:00. The babysitter is on her way, you’re all dressed up, and now all you have left to do is wait for your husband to get home from work.
You’re so excited for this date night. Things have been rough, and you’ve needed some time together, not to mention some time away from the kids and your normal responsibilities.
That’s when you get the text: he’s cancelling again because he got held up at work. Again. He says it looks like it’s going to be an all-nighter.
You sigh, call the babysitter to tell her the plans have changed, change back into more comfortable clothes, and hope the kids go to bed easily tonight, because you’re just so not in the mood to put up with any crankiness or whining. You spend the rest of the evening fuming.
My favorite TV show of all time is Parenthood. I love how real it is: it’s not about a bunch of trumped-up, crazy drama. It’s all about real life situations with characters I can 100% relate to.
Because I can relate to those characters well, I feel like I learn a lot from their struggles.
I’ll be honest – my heart hasn’t really been into blogging lately.
I’m glad I’ve had some posts pre-written for the next few weeks, because the latest media frenzy against police is weighing me down… and I know I’m not alone. I know I’ve needed to write something on the topic, but I hadn’t really been able to figure out how.
I just feel like… what can I possibly say?
I actually wrote an entire post that I ended up deleting, because I just didn’t feel up to getting into the politics of the situation. It was written out of anger, outrage, and hurt, and that’s never a good place to write from. Nonetheless, if you’re searching for my opinion on the matter, here it is.
Police officers put their lives on the line every day. They deserve our love and support. They deserve the benefit of the doubt, and the right to being innocent until proven guilty. If they kill a criminal who has put their lives in imminent danger, it’s sad. It’s sad when people die. But the fault lies in those who break the law, not those who swear to uphold it and keep that promise. Those who target police officers are nothing short of terrorists, and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Politics aside, it seems the daily life of LEO wives is different. All through his career, you’ve known danger and death were a possibility. Every day, he’s put his life on the line. Now, it’s different. Now, death and danger feel suddenly imminent and not like just a mere possibility.
I love my family more than anything. Really, truly. I’d do anything for them.
But you know what’s funny?
Sometimes what they need from me – more than anything else – is for me to take care of myself.
It sounds a little backwards – I mean, how does taking care of myself benefit them? But it’s absolutely true.
When I don’t take care of myself, I feel a little more short-tempered. I feel less confident. I feel less happy overall.
When I’m feeling those things, it rubs off on my whole family.
Sometimes it feels like a cruel joke that when I’m stressed out, my son in particular starts acting out more, but overall, I’m thankful for the reminder. I’m glad to be reminded of how important it is that he sees an example of a happy, well-adjusted mother (you know, for the most part – because nobody’s perfect.)
My husband needs me to be happy, too, because if I’m not happy, he feels like he’s failed. It doesn’t really matter what’s making me unhappy – he feels responsible.
Because I work from home, my work-life balance is always something I have to be mindful of.
Sure, it’s great, because I can work whenever and wherever I’d like. If my son won’t take a nap or if he’s sick, I can work next to him on the couch while he watches Paw Patrol. I can snuggle with my husband while I answer emails. It’s great to have such flexibility.
But, there’s a downside.
The work is always there. I don’t go to an office, work, and leave when I’m done and that’s that. The work is always nearby, waiting to be done. And when it comes to blogging, the work is never done. There’s always something more I could be doing.
And few weeks ago? I was a woman possessed.
Our toddler is like a parrot.
A highly selectively mimicking parrot.
Someone will give him, say, a piece candy. I’ll ask him to say thank you, and he just stares at me blankly.
When I stop short while driving because the idiot in front of me slammed on his brakes for no effing reason and I yell out an obscenity (or two… or three… and a threat maybe?) he can copy me so perfectly clearly, with such excellent diction, you’d think he’d been practicing.
Before I was married, I think I was the best wife in the world.
I would never nag my husband. I’d always have awesome dinners ready for him, whether I worked or stayed at home. I’d always keep a clean house. I’d never forget how much I love him. I’d never find him annoying. I’d never get worked up over the little things. My libido would never decrease, even after kids (ha ha ha).
I mean, they were great intentions… but let’s be real. Real life gets in the way of being the perfect wife… because there’s just no such thing.