I posted on Facebook a few days ago about how I needed to back off on blogging a little and reduce posting to once per week. This article will address a little bit about why.
Our life is not going according to plan. My husband’s career isn’t going according to plan. He believed he would be back on with a police department soon, but for a myriad of reasons, he’s staying at his security job. Which is great, it’s a fine fit for us, and still allows him to do what he’s passionate about, but just not at all what we’d planned.
His health concerns are making life difficult for him to work and to function in general, which means there’s even more on my plate than I had before (which was already a lot.)
We had plans a year ago to start trying for a second child, and those plans have been delayed for who knows how long. Maybe we’ll try again when A is 3? Who knows. And again, with his health concerns and my already full plate, that looks a lot like, “Are you kidding me?”
And, naturally, because everything seems to come down at once in life, we’re having financial difficulties. We’re making it, just not rolling in it, and occasionally I get sick of baked potatoes and just want a nice, juicy steak…. but that’s expensive!
It’s hard. It’s weighing me down, and no amount of self-care/good eating/exercise/square shoulders is fixing it. I’ve started medication to help me deal, which I feel a little uncomfortable admitting, but I also want to encourage others that if you need it, it’s not something to be ashamed of.
But in sharing this story, I’m not looking for sympathy (though I always accept chocolate ;)).
My point is, God’s plan doesn’t have to be my plan to be good. Even though my future looks uncertain right now, even though I look forward a week from now and see darkness, I know it’s not forever. I mean, I don’t know-know it in the sense that I feel cheerful and optimistic.
I know it because I’ve been here before, and I’ve seen God turn my brokenness into something beautiful. I’ve seen Him carve paths into places there were none.
I know He’s still there, even if I can’t feel Him.
I know He’s listening, even if I can’t hear Him.
And I want you to know that too, and that’s why I wrote this article. Because even if the future looks uncertain to us, it’s in the hands of the only one we can really, truly trust. The only one who loves us with everything He has.
So if this situation sounds in any way familiar to you, please read and take the advice to heart. If it’s hard to listen to, I know. Trust me: I felt like I was writing this article in large part for myself.
To read the article, click here: Encouragement For When The Future Looks Uncertain
I’m a twenty-something LEO wife and stay-at-home mom to a one-year-old little boy. I enjoy writing, reading, taking my son for walks and runs in the stroller, and crafting. My goal is for Love and Blues to be a resource for first responders and their families. I write about marriage and family topics, as well as about the quirks that come with being married to a man in law enforcement, firefighting, or emergency medical services.
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