I’ll be honest – my heart hasn’t really been into blogging lately.
I’m glad I’ve had some posts pre-written for the next few weeks, because the latest media frenzy against police is weighing me down… and I know I’m not alone. I know I’ve needed to write something on the topic, but I hadn’t really been able to figure out how.
I just feel like… what can I possibly say?
I actually wrote an entire post that I ended up deleting, because I just didn’t feel up to getting into the politics of the situation. It was written out of anger, outrage, and hurt, and that’s never a good place to write from. Nonetheless, if you’re searching for my opinion on the matter, here it is.
Police officers put their lives on the line every day. They deserve our love and support. They deserve the benefit of the doubt, and the right to being innocent until proven guilty. If they kill a criminal who has put their lives in imminent danger, it’s sad. It’s sad when people die. But the fault lies in those who break the law, not those who swear to uphold it and keep that promise. Those who target police officers are nothing short of terrorists, and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Politics aside, it seems the daily life of LEO wives is different. All through his career, you’ve known danger and death were a possibility. Every day, he’s put his life on the line. Now, it’s different. Now, death and danger feel suddenly imminent and not like just a mere possibility.
I’ve seen posts I’ve written like When The World Hates Your Husband and Dealing With Fear As A Police Wife suddenly become really popular. As a blogger, I’ll admit – it’s exciting. But as a LEO wife, it breaks my heart.
People are scared. People are angry. People are really in need of some comfort, strength, and encouragement.
So with all that being said…
I have to pray, every single day, or I think I would lose it. I pray for my husband’s safety. I pray that he’ll be guided to do the right things and make the right decisions that will keep him safe. I pray for our family to stay together and not to be harmed.
I also have to focus on uplifting scriptures that talk about God’s promises. Jeremiah 29:11 is a good one, for instance.
There are also countless scriptures that instruct us not to be afraid, like Joshua 1:9. Take that counsel to heart and really focus on the fact that God will make all things right in the end if you are faithful. Give all your fear to God.
While you’re at it, give Him your anger, too, even if it’s anger at Him. He knows you: He can take it. The scriptures are full of the faithful occasionally questioning God’s plan for them. It’s part of our journey in this life.
If you’re struggling to give these over to Him, go back to step one and pray for help with that, too.
Remember that Jesus died and was resurrected in order for the grave to not have to victory over us. This life is not the end. Even if the unthinkable should happen in your family, hold tight to these promises. White knuckle them. Don’t ever let them go. Remember that there’s more beyond this life. Keep your eyes on Christ, not on the storm around you.
After you’ve prayed, if you still feel angry and sad, do something to help. Whatever you think would improve your mood, whether it’s watching a silly movie, playing a game with your kids, or going somewhere fun, like the zoo.
Try listening to uplifting music, even if you can’t go anywhere. My personal favorite radio station is Air1, and you can find your local radio station on their website, or stream directly from there or from their app. They always manage to play music that comforts me no matter what I’m needing.
If you have an opportunity to make someone else’s day better, do it. There’s nothing that will improve your mood and help you see the light in the world better than being the good in the world yourself.
The most important thing as that you don’t let the negative things stick around and fester.
Focus on the time you have together, on how wonderful it is when your husband arrives home safe, and how much he loves you and your kids.
Use the fear to make you humble, to make you more forgiving toward your husband and less likely to hold a grudge. Let the evil designed to tear your family apart build it up. Let it make you more focused on the good in your life because, even when times are good, nothing is a given. Today is the most important day, because we can’t change yesterday and we can’t plan for tomorrow.
One great way I’ve found to do this is through my art journaling: if you’re interested in giving it a shot, I wrote a whole post about how to start, even if you’re not necessarily artistically inclined.
All I’m saying is, remember to make every single day count.
This is going to be a controversial one, but I think it’s important. Because of the current climate, I’m focusing on getting my concealed weapons permit, improving my shooting skills, and making it a habit to carry at all times.
It’s a dangerous world out there, and we’re seeing it only get more and more dangerous.
Needless to say, if you can’t put the time and energy into carrying safely, don’t do this one at all. If you can, though, I advise you to make it a priority. Make yourself and your family less likely to be a victim.
I realize that in an environment like this one, there are no easy answers. There’s no easy way to make all the bad things go away. I hope this will help give you hope and some comfort.
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I’m a twenty-something LEO wife and stay-at-home mom to a one-year-old little boy. I enjoy writing, reading, taking my son for walks and runs in the stroller, and crafting. My goal is for Love and Blues to be a resource for first responders and their families. I write about marriage and family topics, as well as about the quirks that come with being married to a man in law enforcement, firefighting, or emergency medical services.
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