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Category: Self

She is a Girl: Why your Husband’s Female Partner is your Ally, Not Your Enemy

It’s late.

He should have been home by now.

He said he was going out with the shift for a beer or two, but that doesn’t take three hours.

You check your phone.  Again, nothing.

You check Facebook to see if maybe there was a call that made them leave work late. Nope, still nothing.

You check other social media, you check your phone one more time, and you even spend a minute or two listening to that scanner app you downloaded a few months ago to no avail.

The fear that your husband is in imminent danger suddenly gives way to doubt when you remember the whole shift means the whole shift, including his new female partner.  Suddenly, the concern you had for your husband has turned into pure jealousy.

Now you think, he’d better have a darn good explanation for being late.

4 Ways to Hold Tight To Your Faith When Your Faith Is Shaken

I feel like before I became a police wife, I didn’t really know much about the world.

I thought because I worked in a domestic violence shelter I really had a handle on the worst things in life.  I felt like I understood it and was prepared for the emotional toll it would take.  And even though my husband does his best not to tell me the worst stuff he sees, he’s also better able to separate himself from the emotions – so he doesn’t always realize the stories he tells me are things I didn’t want to know.

And sometimes after hearing these stories, I can’t help but wonder: why did that have to happen?

I mean, the question is really a classic one.  Who hasn’t asked the question, “why does God let bad things happen to good people?”

5 Things Being A Police Wife Taught Me About Life

Something about the last few days has made me contemplate where I used to be versus where I am now.

Maybe it’s because my son is about to turn two (where did the time go?), maybe it’s because I realized I’m now closer to 30 than I am to 20 (seriously, where the heck did it go?), or maybe it’s just because, well, I’ve grown a lot over the last year alone, let alone the last 5 and 10 years.

It’s amazing to look back at who I used to be and think of all the differences.  Just under 10 years ago, I moved out on my own for the first time.  I learned how to live alone, I learned how to manage my money, I worked all kinds of jobs and lived in my super small studio apartment that I was insanely proud of.

My husband was just my boyfriend at the time, and had barely started applying to police departments.

We had no idea what life had in store for us.  Looking back, I feel like we were just kids.

To The Police Wife Who’s Struggling: You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are

Hey there, it’s me.

I see you over there.  I know you’re feeling broken down, frustrated, and overwhelmed.  Sometimes this life is just way harder than you imagined, am I right?

Sure, at first it seemed a little exciting – after all, admit it: uniforms are super sexy.  And you’re so proud to have a husband who’s a real-life superhero.  But after the excitement wears off, it’s just flat out tough.

After all, when you said “I do” to your husband, you might not have realized he’d have another wife – one that’s much needier, that calls him at all hours of the night.  One to whom he responds, every single time.  It’s hard to feel treasured as a wife when there’s something else that always comes first.

And that other wife?  She can be a real wench, right?  She sends your husband home tired, frustrated, worn out, even traumatized at times.  You can’t ever really tell what his response is going to be after a long shift, whether he’s going to shut you out and refuse to talk, or whether he’s going to need to feel close to you (even if he still doesn’t want to talk.)

Dear Police Recruit (A Letter to my Husband on his First Day)

Dear Police Recruit,

You looked so handsome this morning as I sent you out the door.

You tossed restlessly last night, and I laid next to you just thinking about all the new changes coming our way.

You woke up and showered and tied your tie in the bathroom mirror. We both smiled and exchanged those nervous glances. This is it!

You squared your shoulders and grabbed your lunch and then I kissed you goodbye.

It’s your first day at the police academy, and I am so, so proud of you.

Like a Broken Vessel: My Struggle With Anxiety

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a Mormon.  I don’t normally talk much about it, simply because it’s not usually that relevant to what I’m writing about.

Every six months, the church has a conference where we get to listen to the prophet and apostles speak.  It’s an edifying experience every time and somehow, whatever issue I’ve been wrestling with at the time, I’ll have new insight on the issue after watching.

There was one conference, however, where one of the messages made my heart drop.

It was David O. McKay speaking, and he talked about the importance of controlling your thoughts.

“Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny,” he said.

It’s a harmless idea, powerful even… but it terrified me.

13 Inspiring Scriptures for Police Officers and Their Families

This post contains affiliate links.  Read full disclosure here.

When my husband was in the academy, he struggled a lot.  Even though he had always wanted to be a police officer, it was tough.  He had moments of doubt in his own abilities, and he had moments where he had to ask God whether he really was where he was supposed to be.

To encourage him, I bought him a small set of scriptures (similar to this) and highlighted any that I thought would help him with a blue highlighter.  I figured he could read them at the academy, then when he had his own car he could easily store them away since they were so compact.

It surprised me that there were so many verses that seemed to apply directly to law enforcement, and as I went through the pages and searched for them, I found more and more.  This project was inspiring for me, and has been helpful for him.

5 Must-Read Books for Police Wives (Plus An Update!)

This post contains affiliate links. Read full disclosure here.

Since I’ve been feverishly working on writing my book (possibly a good choice of words, since I’m writing this with a stuffy nose and a fever right now ;)), I’ve been thinking about books for police wives… and man, there are some fantastic ones out there!

I wanted to showcase them all in a post for a few reasons:

  1. Seriously, they look incredible, and they deserve to be showcased.
  2. I hope one day my book will make it onto one of these lists – I guess I can start with adding it to my own when the time comes 🙂

Which reminds me: You all deserve an update!

How To Trust God In The Eye of the Storm

About a month ago, things were looking really lousy around the Elwood home.

It was like everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.  We were sick, A was going through a sleep regression, J had lost his job (more on that at another time), our car was acting up, and so on, and so forth.

The whole time, I couldn’t stop myself from asking: God, where the heck are you?

7 Thoughtful Gift Ideas for Police Wives

This post contains affiliate links.  Read full disclosure here.

In my last post, I mentioned how hard men are to shop for.  Which is totally true…  But I also realize the flipside of that is that they tend to have a hard time shopping for women.

I mean, maybe not all – but I know my husband gets a little stuck on gift ideas for me.  And I figure if I’ve given you ladies a guide to help you shop, it’s only fair your husband gets a little assistance, too!

So even though I normally target my posts to you women – this time I’m talking to your husbands.  So go ahead and forward this to him if you think he might get stuck this year 😉