There are a lot of battles you fight as a police wife: police equipment everywhere, a 24/7/365 schedule, an overwhelming fear when I do not hear from him for hours … but the most stubborn one is the work phone.
Most people in the world see smartphones as a convenience. I see it as my enemy. I often feel like I am fighting for attention and my opponent is 5″ tall and 3″ wide. Having the requirement to carry this phone and answer it is bad enough, but then there are the emails, the text messages, and all the other potential distractions smartphones come with.
No matter the time nor place, that phone can ruin all our best laid plans. We could be arriving at my parent’s house for Christmas Eve dinner then his phone rings. Next thing I know he is gone off to work and me and our two dogs are stranded.
If I’m being honest, I hated my husband’s time in the academy.
For one thing, he was far away 4 days a week (since it was an out-of-town academy) and we were living with my in-laws, with whom there was admittedly some tension.
On top of that, we were in a completely new town where I didn’t really know anyone.
Oh and the cherry on top? I was 14 weeks pregnant when he started the academy. Hormones, baby.
If you’ve been on Pinterest for any length of time (or been in a long distance relationship), you’ve probably heard of “open when” letters. They’re letters you pre-write for a particular person for them to open when something special happens or they’re feeling happy/sad/lonely, whatever.
I LOVE them. I think they’re such a fun idea, and they especially appeal to me since I like writing (hence the reason I blog :)) and they’re an inexpensive, meaningful gift idea. I love homemade gifts, and one from the heart like this really appeals to me, especially because it can be enjoyed for a long time.
If you want to make a set, just choose however many you’d like to do (say, 5 or 10… or 24, if you’re really feeling motivated!) and write out the letters however you’d like. You can type them or hand write them if you’d like, or type to get it all formatted, then copy it down in handwriting if you want to make sure it’s perfect (or if you’re okay with stuff being scratched out as you go, that’s fine too!)
Have you ever heard the saying, “a mouth like a sailor”?
Hey guys! This is a guest post from Tatyanna of A Pop of Life on helping the one you love cope with the trauma they encounter as a first responder. This is the first of hopefully several posts on the subject, because it’s an important one to address. If you’re currently in this situation, I hope this helps you!
There is a call of duty that drives the bold and brave to sign up to become first responders. The job requires a dedication to the welfare and safety of members within the community. Individual needs are essentially put on the back burner. This bit of courage sometimes can result in unexpected consequences. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can present itself in the lives of first responders and their families long after the job has finished.
I’m a wife to a career soldier. How does this differ from being a wife to, let’s say, a banker, a businessman, or even a teacher? It means the possibility of post-traumatic stress is very real and probable in my husband’s line of work. He has numerous tours under his belt which increase the likeliness of PTSD becoming a part of our lives. I’ve noticed a good deal of people try to shy away from the topic or even feel embarrassed to admit that it has become an issue within their family. This shouldn’t be the case.
This post contains affiliate links. Read full disclosure here.
I know it’s still a smidge early to be talking about Christmas, but I personally start thinking about Christmas way earlier than December. To be honest, since most of my gifts are handmade, I start the planning process around December 26th each year.
But I wanted to help you guys out in case you’re not sure what to get your husband this year. I know gift giving for men can be hard, but I think giving things to a police officer, you have a small advantage because there are certain things you know he’ll love and use regularly.
This past Friday, my most recent contribution to My Joy-Filled Life was published. Yay!
My newest post was inspired by some of my friends and family. I’ve gotten a lot of messages from them asking how they can support their local law enforcement. They’ve said they couldn’t figure out a way to show appreciation that doesn’t come off as bribery, that officers can enjoy without worrying that the treats have been tampered with, and that they could actually get to police officers (since, as you know, they’re constantly on the move.)
I’ll be honest – my heart hasn’t really been into blogging lately.
I’m glad I’ve had some posts pre-written for the next few weeks, because the latest media frenzy against police is weighing me down… and I know I’m not alone. I know I’ve needed to write something on the topic, but I hadn’t really been able to figure out how.
I just feel like… what can I possibly say?
I actually wrote an entire post that I ended up deleting, because I just didn’t feel up to getting into the politics of the situation. It was written out of anger, outrage, and hurt, and that’s never a good place to write from. Nonetheless, if you’re searching for my opinion on the matter, here it is.
Police officers put their lives on the line every day. They deserve our love and support. They deserve the benefit of the doubt, and the right to being innocent until proven guilty. If they kill a criminal who has put their lives in imminent danger, it’s sad. It’s sad when people die. But the fault lies in those who break the law, not those who swear to uphold it and keep that promise. Those who target police officers are nothing short of terrorists, and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
Politics aside, it seems the daily life of LEO wives is different. All through his career, you’ve known danger and death were a possibility. Every day, he’s put his life on the line. Now, it’s different. Now, death and danger feel suddenly imminent and not like just a mere possibility.
This post contains affiliate links. Read full disclosure here.
I remember the first time I saw my husband in his uniform. It blew my mind.
I mean, not only did he look super handsome (there’s something to be said about a man in uniform, after all ;)) and he’d shaved his face completely for the first time since I’d known him, but it reminded me of the new person he was becoming.
That uniform signified the new power and responsibility he had. It signified the commitment he’d made to protect and serve, no matter what it cost. Whether the cost was just a much-needed day off, or his safety, or even his life.
But that uniform also reminded me that with that commitment, I was now second in his life. Don’t get me wrong – when it’s his choice, I come first. But when it’s not? The job always comes first. No matter whether I’m sick, no matter if we have a newborn… if the world needs him, he’s there.
It’s a lot like being married to Batman, I swear, and there’s nothing more frustrating than when I need my husband and that bat signal shows up and takes him away.
Because of all the sacrifices he has to make for the job, the statistic that we only have a 25% chance of making it is ever-present in my mind. With every frustration I experience because of the job, I remember how important my marriage is to me. Being one of the 75% of law enforcement marriages that doesn’t make it is not good enough for me.
Because you know what? I’m determined. I’m not one to just give up in the face of adversity. In fact, the harder things get, the more determined I get to be successful. I want to beat the odds, and whatever it takes, my marriage is worth it – especially now that we have kids.
At times, the statistics about law enforcement marriage have scared me. Overall, though, they’ve been a catalyst to make me more careful, more intentional about caring for my marriage. It forces me to realize that the marriage of my dreams isn’t going to happen by chance. It’s going to happen because we worked for it.
If you want to divorce-proof your marriage, these 5 things are what you’ll want to focus on.
There’s a lot of bad press about cops lately. Have you noticed? Who am I kidding: of course you have. It’s impossible to miss… unfortunately. There are countless articles that call the police power-hungry, over-militarized, trigger-happy, insensitive, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
If you’re anything like me, they strike a nerve (to say the least!)
You know your husband. You know his friends. You know them as people who feel called to law enforcement because they want to make the world a better place. You know how their jobs touch their hearts, even when they have a hard time showing it.