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Category: Marriage

5 Ways To Be Better Teammates With Your Husband

I am ridiculously stubborn.  Like, seriously – so stubborn.

Whether it’s a result of my German heritage or what, it’s sometimes a problem.

In fact, when I was a teenager, I didn’t actually think I’d ever get married.  I didn’t think it was in the cards for me because, boy, did people get on my nerves.  I wasn’t what you’d call a “team player”.

Nope.

More often than not, I thought in terms of, “my way or the highway.”

When I met my husband, things changed.  I was so in love with him, and I didn’t ever get tired of spending time with him – a completely new concept.  I’d do anything to make our marriage to last a lifetime.

But it definitely hasn’t been all smooth sailing.  Believe it or not, my tendency to want things exactly how I want them to be hasn’t subsided just because I fell in love.  I’ve had to work really hard on my faults – which I don’t know, I guess is part of the whole point of marriage ;).

I struggled a lot with communicating with my husband.  I wanted him to just intuitively know what I needed without having to spell it out for him.  I wanted to do what I wanted to do, make the plans I’d come up with happen, spend money how I wanted, and have chores done without nagging or goading.

And then, of course, I wanted him to see things my way, and just do things how I wanted them done.

The thing is, marriage isn’t just about me or just about my husband.  It’s about us, conquering the world together.  It’s about being able to overcome anything that comes our way, and making our marriage work… no matter what.

It’s about being a team.

3 Ways to Win The Fight Against Your Husband’s Work Phone

There are a lot of battles you fight as a police wife:  police equipment everywhere, a 24/7/365 schedule, an overwhelming fear when I do not hear from him for hours … but the most stubborn one is the work phone.

Most people in the world see smartphones as a convenience. I see it as my enemy. I often feel like I am fighting for attention and my opponent is 5″ tall and 3″ wide.  Having the requirement to carry this phone and answer it is bad enough, but then there are the emails, the text messages, and all the other potential distractions smartphones come with.

No matter the time nor place, that phone can ruin all our best laid plans. We could be arriving at my parent’s house for Christmas Eve dinner then his phone rings. Next thing I know he is gone off to work and me and our two dogs are stranded.

15 Open When Letter Ideas for the Academy-Bound Recruit

If I’m being honest, I hated my husband’s time in the academy.

For one thing, he was far away 4 days a week (since it was an out-of-town academy) and we were living with my in-laws, with whom there was admittedly some tension.

On top of that, we were in a completely new town where I didn’t really know anyone.

Oh and the cherry on top?  I was 14 weeks pregnant when he started the academy.  Hormones, baby.

It wasn’t pretty.

3 Reasons To Go To Church as a Law Enforcement Family (And How To Make It Happen)

Most people live for the weekend, celebrating Friday as the last day of the work week. Saturday is for sleeping in and resting, getting caught up on house and yard work, and spending time as a family. Sunday is another day of rest, and for many, it’s the day to go to church. 

We all know this isn’t the case for those who work the weekends. Friday is typically the busiest night of the week, Saturday is full of overtime opportunities, and Sunday is often just another day on the job. In the law enforcement field, someone always has to be at work. And that someone is often one of our husbands. 
 
It has always taken me a while to come to terms with the loss of the “typical” weekend. Sure, the days off are nice in the middle of the week and you won’t hear me complaining about having a three day weekend every week. But after three years of my husband working as a first responder and a police officer, I have done my fair share of “actual” weekends without him. 
 
One of the hardest parts of these weekends is getting myself and two kids under two to church.
 
Honestly, it would be so much easier to just stay home in our pajamas.

10 Ways To Have A Game Night When You Can’t Be Together

Technology is pretty amazing, isn’t it?  I mean, think about it.  We live in a time where if we miss someone, we can instantly contact them via text or social media or anything.  That wasn’t the case even 10 years ago.  Heck, I remember spending many of my teenage years warning people NOT to call me until after 9 (or else I’d go over my minutes and get in trouble!)

But I think a lot about my husband’s grandparents when I think about this topic.  My husband’s grandfather was a game warden, and his grandmother has said there would sometimes be as long as a week at a time without word from him.

A week.

I mean, they’re an awesome example of a strong law enforcement couple, because he passed away a few nights before their 76th wedding anniversary.  Talk about commitment.  But I can imagine it wasn’t always easy.

Now that we have smart phones, we can keep in touch at all hours of the day (or night) via phone calls, texts, or even FaceTime sessions – which is amazing for law enforcement families!

24 Open When Letter Ideas for Police Officers

If you’ve been on Pinterest for any length of time (or been in a long distance relationship), you’ve probably heard of “open when” letters.  They’re letters you pre-write for a particular person for them to open when something special happens or they’re feeling happy/sad/lonely, whatever.

I LOVE them.  I think they’re such a fun idea, and they especially appeal to me since I like writing (hence the reason I blog :)) and they’re an inexpensive, meaningful gift idea.  I love homemade gifts, and one from the heart like this really appeals to me, especially because it can be enjoyed for a long time.

If you want to make a set, just choose however many you’d like to do (say, 5 or 10… or 24, if you’re really feeling motivated!) and write out the letters however you’d like.  You can type them or hand write them if you’d like, or type to get it all formatted, then copy it down in handwriting if you want to make sure it’s perfect (or if you’re okay with stuff being scratched out as you go, that’s fine too!)

Ending Locker Room Talk Starts At Home

Have you ever heard the saying, “a mouth like a sailor”? 

Well, I’m here to tell you that the saying should be updated to “mouth like a firefighter”. 
 
Our nation’s first responders are hardworking heroes. They work long shifts and often see humanity at it’s most vulnerable. They are quick on their feet and the first ones to arrive in someone’s time of need. They are professionals on the job, dressed in their uniform, trained to help in crisis and efficient wherever they are needed. 
 
But my husband recently let me in on a little secret: back at the station, all “hero/professional” vibes are off. Men who acted professional on scene are now able to relax, and the “locker room banter” is often free to flow. Since the firehouse is not a typical professional work environment, the firemen are able to relax, put their feet up, and speak uninhibited. From replaying work scenes, cussing every other word and speaking inappropriately about women (both in their lives and outside of it), the firehouse can quickly resemble a ship on the high seas, full of cussing sailors. 

If You Want A Happy Marriage, It’s What You Do Daily That Matters.

This post contains affiliate links.  Read full disclosure here.

So, I want to talk to you guys about something: what you read versus reality.

I read this article the other day that compares a lot of the things you see on Pinterest (perfect homes, perfect families, etc) to porn, because it casues you to have unrealistic expectations of your life (much like porn causes you to have unrealistic expectations of sexual relationships).

I got to thinking about it because, every now and then, I get reader comments/emails saying what a wonderful wife I must be, and how I’ve inspired them.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the compliment (and the latter part of it just about makes me cry every time), but I feel, lest I give the wrong impression, that I need to address something.

I’m really not a wonderful wife.

3 Ways To Be Your Husband’s Girlfriend Again

As a wife, it’s likely you wear a lot of hats.  For instance, here are a few of the roles I play at home:

  • Maid
  • Accountant
  • Chef
  • Receptionist
  • Childcare specialist
  • Secretary
  • Legal assistant
  • Lunch-maker

And there’s definitely more that I just can’t think of right now.  Of course, there’s one role I need to focus on a little more – and that is, being my husband’s girlfriend again.  I know that sounds silly – I mean, we’re married.  I’ll never just be his girlfriend.

PTSD In First Responders: The First 4 Steps To Take

Hey guys!  This is a guest post from Tatyanna of A Pop of Life on helping the one you love cope with the trauma they encounter as a first responder.  This is the first of hopefully several posts on the subject, because it’s an important one to address.  If you’re currently in this situation, I hope this helps you!

There is a call of duty that drives the bold and brave to sign up to become first responders. The job requires a dedication to the welfare and safety of members within the community. Individual needs are essentially put on the back burner. This bit of courage sometimes can result in unexpected consequences.  Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can present itself in the lives of first responders and their families long after the job has finished.

I’m a wife to a career soldier. How does this differ from being a wife to, let’s say, a banker, a businessman, or even a teacher? It means the possibility of post-traumatic stress is very real and probable in my husband’s line of work.  He has numerous tours under his belt which increase the likeliness of PTSD becoming a part of our lives. I’ve noticed a good deal of people try to shy away from the topic or even feel embarrassed to admit that it has become an issue within their family. This shouldn’t be the case.