Today, I want to address something that I think a lot of people struggle with on some level: Depression.
Maybe it’s situational, maybe it’s hormone-related, maybe it’s something you struggle with all the time, but at one point or another, it hits everyone.
I personally struggle with it a lot, typically every few months.
It starts with little stresses getting under my skin, especially stress about money. Then life starts getting overwhelming, and, even though I’m a fairly optimistic person, I just feel like I slow down. Everything feels a little harder to do, and all the things I usually like doing seem far less interesting.
I heard this quote once that, if you want to make God laugh, all you have to do is tell him your plans. I feel like this is doubly true when you’re married to a first responder or a member of the military.
I was due with our son in late February. I thought for sure I’d go into labor early, because my mom and sister both had their babies between 37-39 weeks. By the time my due date rolled around, I was getting super antsy.
Then came March. People would ask, “When are you due?” I’d grumble back, “Last month.” I didn’t even go to church the last few weeks because I didn’t think I could take one more person asking “Where’s the baby?”
One reason I was getting so antsy is that my husband was due to have mandatory firearms training starting the middle of March. I wanted so badly for him to be able to take some time off with me and the baby, but that wasn’t an option with the training. It only happened once a year, and if he missed it, because he was in his probationary period, he could risk losing his job.
At the same time, I didn’t feel right about being induced. It just didn’t feel like the right decision for me.