I can’t pretend to understand the things you’ve seen. I know the bad things I’ve heard in the news, I know the stories I’ve heard personally – but I know the whitewashed version. The sanitized version. The version that’s digestible by the general public.
The things you’ve experienced, they’re raw. Uncut. Unfiltered.
Whether you’ve seen neglect and apathy, horrific acts of rage, or just the senselessness of your fellow man, it gets to you. I know it does. The things you’ve seen can’t help but change you.
The truly scary thing, though, is when those things make you feel hopeless. When the horrors you’ve witnessed, the victims you’ve tried to help, when they stick with you and make you feel like you’re not making a difference. When you feel there’s too much to be done. When you feel like your contribution doesn’t matter.
As much as I love Pinterest, I also sometimes hate it.
On one hand, it’s this place you can go to find great ideas – from creative party ideas, to dinner recipes, to ridiculously delicious and calorie filled dessert recipes. It’s awesome.
But on the other hand? It’s also full of so much information it’s easy to get lost. Especially when it comes to information about parenting.
There are countless articles about how you should parent, how you shouldn’t parent, what phrases to say to your kids, what phrases will ruin them for life, how to avoid raising ungrateful children, why you should be a minimalist when it comes to their toys, and about 50 ways you’re probably screwing up your kids.
Because I’m so ridiculously well-informed on the impact every single decision could have on my kids, I feel like the worst mom in the world.
When I was pregnant, I had so many ideas of what motherhood would look like. I was scared of the responsibility and scared I wouldn’t measure up, and I was scared of what effect a baby would have on our marriage.
So I watched.
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As a rookie police wife, I felt like I didn’t have connections with other police wives yet, so I turned to books. Specifically, books that could relate to my current situation. Reading, especially while my husband was on shift helped me to deal with the situations we were facing. It also helped to paint a picture of what our life may look like later on down the road. It helped me feel connected to him, even when he was away.
For my husband, who wasn’t naturally an avid reader, he started reading a lot more when it was something he was passionate about. He enjoyed reading books about his career. He gained a clearer insight to why things occurred, and he learned important statistics related to his job.
Fast forward almost 10 years and I am still reading books related to my police wife life, but now it’s a little different. Now that we have children, finding books that relate to all of us is just as important.
Most people live for the weekend, celebrating Friday as the last day of the work week. Saturday is for sleeping in and resting, getting caught up on house and yard work, and spending time as a family. Sunday is another day of rest, and for many, it’s the day to go to church.
To my sweet little boy,
I love how much you love your daddy. Even though it sometimes pains me when you’ve been a butt for me all day and you’re an angel for him, I love the way the door opens and you drop everything and run to him, demanding he pick you up. You wrap your arms around his neck and want to tell him all about your day. He might not be able to understand a word of it, but it doesn’t matter. You just want him to know all about the adventures you had that day.
When you see your dad, I know you’re seeing so much more. You’re too young to really understand his job yet, but you know there’s something special about what he does.
I just wanted to give you all a heads up that my most recent post for My Joy-Filled Life is now live!
When I first became a mom, I was dead-set on never letting my son play on my phone, tablet, or even watch much TV. I was sure I’d be soooo good about keeping him away from screens and being a low-media mom.
That’s one of the many things I’m now totally eating my words on 🙂
Don’t get me wrong: there’s definitely a time and a place for electronics. My son isn’t consuming media all day long, every single day – but I’ve found that electronics can be useful tools. And not just to give me a short breather, but also to help teach him different concepts in a new way.
Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you all know my latest post on My Joy-Filled Life is now live.
I think it’s so important to teach kids about the importance of first responders in society, especially when they’re young. Luckily, it’s easy to broach the subject with my little boy because he gets ridiculously excited whenever he hears a siren.
The other day we were at the playground and he saw a police car go past, and he clapped his hands over his mouth, gasped, and did this funny little dance. I mean, seriously – he freaks out. He loves them so much.
Becoming a mom has had a big impact on my New Year’s resolutions this year.
For one thing, I’ve never had a fitness/weight loss resolution before, but you know how it is post-pregnancy. I just want things to fit properly again!
I’ve struggled with anger for as long as I can remember. Even as a kid, I had a short fuse and little patience for crap. I’m dreading the day I have a child as stubborn as myself and my parents can laugh at the karma.
It may not have manifested itself the same way it might have in a boy. I mean, I never got in fights (apart from that one time I punched an ex-boyfriend in high school – but he was asking for it :)). I wasn’t “out of control”.
But I’m stubborn and short-tempered as hell. I can admit that.
When I was pregnant, however, it was on my mind a lot. I knew I wasn’t naturally a “kid person”, and I was terrified I was going to be a bad mom.
Granted, after a super long labor followed by a C-section, my first thought when I looked at him was, “I love you. You were worth every second, and I’d do it again if I had to.” So not 5 minutes into motherhood (well – not sure if it was 5 minutes, I was on a lot of drugs) I knew for sure I could make it – because I loved him so much even then.