One of the biggest challenges of being married to a first responder is the fact that they see awful things day in and day out, things that they don’t want to tell you about (or bring up at all, ever.)
If you’re married to someone who works at, say, a bank, it’s pretty easy to ask them, “Hey, how was your day?” It’ll probably be a lot of boring stuff, maybe drama with a coworker or two or frustrations with his boss.
I mean, sure, banks occasionally get robbed. Sometimes exciting things happen. But really, for the most part, the answer you get to this most basic question is going to be pretty bland.