While my husband didn’t get into law enforcement until after we were married, I can remember very well feeling left out when we were “just” boyfriend and girlfriend. We’d talked about marriage a lot before getting engaged (after all, we dated for about 3 years before tying the knot.)
I remember how frustrating it was when friends and family would discount our relationship: when family would lay claim on his time, guilting him and reminding him that I wasn’t family, and they were. That they needed to come first.
And, of course, I wasn’t dealing with the stress of someone who regularly put their life on the line.