I can’t pretend to understand the things you’ve seen. I know the bad things I’ve heard in the news, I know the stories I’ve heard personally – but I know the whitewashed version. The sanitized version. The version that’s digestible by the general public.
The things you’ve experienced, they’re raw. Uncut. Unfiltered.
Whether you’ve seen neglect and apathy, horrific acts of rage, or just the senselessness of your fellow man, it gets to you. I know it does. The things you’ve seen can’t help but change you.
The truly scary thing, though, is when those things make you feel hopeless. When the horrors you’ve witnessed, the victims you’ve tried to help, when they stick with you and make you feel like you’re not making a difference. When you feel there’s too much to be done. When you feel like your contribution doesn’t matter.
The last time I went to a haunted house, it wasn’t pretty.
I was with my 13-year-old Little Sister (capitalized because we were matched through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program). We went to Fright Fest at a local theme park together, and she begged me to go into the haunted house.
Fun fact: I absolutely hate haunted houses.
I can’t do them. I can tell myself all I want how “it’s not real”, but deep inside there’s this lurking question of – but could it be real?
It’s 100% irrational, but – I’m okay with it. It doesn’t affect me most of the time.
As we waited in line, I kept thinking, “It’ll be fine. I’m a grown up. She doesn’t seem scared – why should I be scared?”
I kept that positive attitude all the way until we actually walked into the haunted house. Then panic set in, I shut my eyes as tight as I could, and grabbed on to the shirt of the poor guy in front of me for dear life.
I’m totally jealous of my husband sometimes.
I mean, sure, he has to shave his face every day. That’s a bummer. But I feel a lot less bad for him when I spend like 15 minutes shaving my entire body plus plucking my eyebrows. Arguably, those things aren’t necessities – but I sure look and feel a lot more pulled together when I do.
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Dinnertime is so awesome.
I mean, 5:00 hits and my son is so well behaved. The best he’s behaved all day, in fact.
My husband? He’s always around to help out with whatever I need, whether that’s preparing part of the meal or helping our angelic child build a block tower.
Then after a half hour to an hour of work in the kitchen, we all sit down together for a civilized meal.
Oh wait. No. It’s actually not like that at all.
As much as I love Pinterest, I also sometimes hate it.
On one hand, it’s this place you can go to find great ideas – from creative party ideas, to dinner recipes, to ridiculously delicious and calorie filled dessert recipes. It’s awesome.
But on the other hand? It’s also full of so much information it’s easy to get lost. Especially when it comes to information about parenting.
There are countless articles about how you should parent, how you shouldn’t parent, what phrases to say to your kids, what phrases will ruin them for life, how to avoid raising ungrateful children, why you should be a minimalist when it comes to their toys, and about 50 ways you’re probably screwing up your kids.
Because I’m so ridiculously well-informed on the impact every single decision could have on my kids, I feel like the worst mom in the world.
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I’m so not a fashion blogger.
I mean really: most of the time, I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Makeup? Pfft. 1-2 times a week at best.
I like looking nice, but I just don’t have the time or energy most of the time to do anything more than the basics.
So me, posting about clothes I like? Trust me when I say it won’t be happening all that often. 🙂
That being said, some of my favorite clothes to wear are the ones that show support for my husband. I love feeling reminded of him all day long, showing others I’m totally pro-police, and most of the designs are just really cool 😉
I have such a thing for paper and pencils. I mean, I love the convenience of e-readers and cell phones, and that I can use them to remind me of things or read books with one hand (you know, like when I was nursing a baby in the middle of the night.)
They’re awesome. They have their place.
But there’s something about writing or drawing on paper or opening a real book that speaks to my soul. The feel of it, the smell of it… there’s just nothing like it.
When I’m feeling down and out and in need of encouragement, one of my go-to methods is to find an inspiring quote on Pinterest that looks nice and make it my phone’s lock screen.
It’s really a great way to pick myself up, because when I inevitably finding myself stress-browsing my phone, the first thing I see is that encouragement. When I see it over and over again, it starts to stick with me.
The quote I have on my phone right now is, “A little progress each day adds up to big results.”
I love it so much. I’m currently in the “messy middle” of about a dozen things, so I need the reminder that if I keep plugging away, the small effort I put in each day will add up and amazing things will happen.
I was thinking about it the other day, though, and I realized this quote goes both ways. While a little forward progress each day adds up, so do the bad habits you have. They can add up over time, too, and they certainly don’t bring you big results – well, not big positive results, anyway.
The bright side is, these habits can be fixed. Even if you’re totally guilty of some of them (or even most or all of them), you can take it one day at a time and work on better habits. A little progress each day, baby.
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Thinking back 11 years ago to when my husband began the police academy, I had no idea what our life was about to be like. Our life was about to change in so many ways and at times, I felt blindsided by it all.
We didn’t have anyone “filling us in” about the law enforcement lifestyle and gosh, it was so needed. I needed someone to talk to, to ask questions to, and I am sure my husband could have needed it also.
My husband and I did have several families that were extremely supportive to us. We mostly just hang out with them on the weekends or when their shift had days off. It was helpful, but I don’t think I asked many questions. I wish I had, but you know what they say about hindsight.
I am ridiculously stubborn. Like, seriously – so stubborn.
Whether it’s a result of my German heritage or what, it’s sometimes a problem.
In fact, when I was a teenager, I didn’t actually think I’d ever get married. I didn’t think it was in the cards for me because, boy, did people get on my nerves. I wasn’t what you’d call a “team player”.
More often than not, I thought in terms of, “my way or the highway.”
When I met my husband, things changed. I was so in love with him, and I didn’t ever get tired of spending time with him – a completely new concept. I’d do anything to make our marriage to last a lifetime.
But it definitely hasn’t been all smooth sailing. Believe it or not, my tendency to want things exactly how I want them to be hasn’t subsided just because I fell in love. I’ve had to work really hard on my faults – which I don’t know, I guess is part of the whole point of marriage ;).
I struggled a lot with communicating with my husband. I wanted him to just intuitively know what I needed without having to spell it out for him. I wanted to do what I wanted to do, make the plans I’d come up with happen, spend money how I wanted, and have chores done without nagging or goading.
And then, of course, I wanted him to see things my way, and just do things how I wanted them done.
The thing is, marriage isn’t just about me or just about my husband. It’s about us, conquering the world together. It’s about being able to overcome anything that comes our way, and making our marriage work… no matter what.
It’s about being a team.